Ten on whatever day today is.........

1. This week I have broken one of my never actually spoken out loud rules.............NEVER EVER buy patterned kitchen roll. It should always be plain white. But we have 12 rolls of some brand with an elephant on it, which was massively reduced. Yes it may be super absorbent, but it has an awful pattern on it. Who's kitchen needs another pattern ?! 

2. As I sit in bed and write this, my amazing husbando is unloading the dishwasher and clearing up, the clanging of plates confirms this. I love him. Lots.

3. My little tyke rode on a donkey today, despite feeling a little sorry for the poor mule, it was a sweet moment. Utter thrill and delight on her face was worth the £1.50 I paid to the daylight robber who charged me such a price for a 2 minute ride. But I guess a donkey has got to eat ( what, caviar?!)

4. In the night garden love has reached epic proportions in our house........It is making me a little crazy

5. I cried today reading This today, for many reasons, some of them hormonal, but mostly as I know many people addiction affects ( who doesn't ) and this is such a heart wrenching insight which sees it from both sides. People are broken, and we hurt each other. No one has got it all sorted, and for some, life is one loooong hearbreaking struggle. 

6. On a lighter note, I wore maternity jeans for the first time today, SO comfortable. SO SO COMFORTABLE. Infact, even if your not pregnant, i'd recommend a pair.

7. The 'sorting out' of the Deane house is still plodding on at snails pace, well not snails, cos I actually think they can get around fairly quickly, tortoise maybe ? anyway, today my foxy husbando got on the throwing out and sorting train too. Two more bin bags full, Three more boxes to go into the garage. #weareslowlywinning

8. I have looked in my little tyke's playroom and decided that really, she doesn't need anymore toys for her birthday.......I on the other hand would love a new pair of winter boots, hat scarf and glove set, a few nice maternity tops and well, if we're going down this road, some new make up and a new set of curtains for our bedroom. Wondering if I can get away with any of these things as a birthday purchase for her ? No ? Thought not :(

9. We visited my lovely friend yesterday who looks after LT for me once a week. It was nice to spend time with them again, and weird being in a house which my daughter spends more time in than I do, she knew where things were, I didn't. 


10. Autumn is around the corner, I love Autumn and this year really cannot wait to smell the fresh cold air, hear the fireworks and take some photos of some gorgeous colours.

Just a Wednesday......

Today is Wednesday, just a normal Wednesday. DaddyDeano is gearing up to go back to work full time, he's been going into work mornings for a few days to get some things done. So this week has almost been an 'easing us back into normal life week'. It's been an interesting summer holiday. If I'm being totally honest, it hasn't been brilliant. Me very sick, and my lovely husbando tired and still fairly stressed with work despite not being there a whole lot. It's tough when you have things to plan and prep for, whilst also trying to take a break. But I have to remind myself how much harder these past 5 weeks would have been if he hadn't been off work. I have been in bed a lot, and going it alone would have been really tough. But, life continues on monday as normal, ready or not. On the plus side, being too ill to do a whole lot has meant we haven't been out and about on as many day trips as we would have been, thus saving us from spending money we don't have......why is it that august always costs so much !???

I'm not really one to make huge 'goals' for a new term, I am by nature quite a task focussed person, and don't need the encouragement of a goal type thing to get me to achieve/focus on something. I have found that having CFS only makes this practise very very frustrating. Setting a 'goal' which you are then unable to achieve through no fault of your own is just plain demoralising. I am a subconsious goal setter though, I have always got something I want to 'get done' and am learning to make these things teeny tiny so that they are actually achievable. This holiday time I have managed to paint our kitchen windowsill, sort out one box full of papers and filing which has sat neglected for more than a few years, and thrown out 4 bags of rubbish, just stuff which really should have been disposed of on a week to week basis, but has just lingered under sofas, in corners, stashed in drawers or on top of the fridge. Yes it has taken 5 weeks to achieve these small things, but in between vomitting, sleeping and toddler juggling, I feel quite proud of myself ! I could list all the things I haven't done, which I would have loved to do, but today I choose not to.

But as we dive into another academic year I do want to stay focussed on what I am doing............. I am housing a growing life inside me, and that is a tiring job. I am making parenting decisions, even if at times my body is too weak to carry them out, even at the hands of others who care for my little tyke, I am her mother and the one who is guiding her through her toddler years, It is my decisions which affect her the most, and I really want to be aware of this. I have realised that I will probably need more help with her this next year, in whatever form, but regardless of where she spends a few hours each day, she comes home to me, and calls me Mummy. In the times I know will come in this pregnancy and beyond, where I am just incapable of caring for her in the way I would like, I am determined to not let that make me feel like I have failed her, but that having a sometimes frail Mum is just part of her journey in life. It will grow things in her character and prepare her for things that I, as yet, have no idea about. She is God's child and I have to trust her to Him. 

( please feel free to remind me of this resolve, when in a few weeks I write a lamenting post about being in bed and missing out on life ! )

My Sister in Law, reminded me of this verse in Psalms recently......

 'God, our protector, keep us in mind; always give strength to your people. For if we can be with you even one day, it is better than a thousand without you.' (Psalm 84:10-11) 

It served as a timely reminder, that He is not only my protector, but being with Him each day in whatever small form is what I'm aiming for.

Oh yeah, and a guy named Pablo delivered us yet another chest of drawers ( ebay purchase ) to house our growing ammonst of 'stuff '. I think I might be developing an addiction to chests of drawers and storage solutions. I blame the hormones, always the hormones.

It's a Sunday day

'This is the day that the Lord has made, we shall rejoice and be glad in it '

The skies may not always be clear and sunny, but those choppy waves still look like fun !

Whatever the day is like. I want to rejoice in what the Lord has made.

The time has come

To share this post, it's been brewing for a while....

'Ten' with a difference....

We need to talk about sick. Yes, the gross vommiting kind. You see I haven't done loads of blogging recently because my time is mostly spent being sick, or trying very hard ( with reasonable success I might add ) not to be sick.

This is what I have learnt............

1. Morning sickness, is mostly a lie. In my case it's a kind of 'feel intensely sick day and night' affair. If only it were just in the morning. 

2. I have recently taken to falling asleep in my clothes, the sickness builds as the day progresses and by 7pm I get into bed and lie VERY still, hoping, really really hoping, that some food will stay in. I fully intend to get up and get changed and ready for bed, however the risk of movement induced sickness is too great to risk such a clothing transition. #thingsaregettingdesperate

3. I am quite good at seeming ok, but in reality, if you have spoken to me in the last few months, I will have been checking for receptacles to puke in, and been concentrating hard on NOT puking all over you.

4. Lying very still seems to be the only thing in my life which prevents me feeling awful and actually puking. This is not a solution I can employ on a hour by hour basis, but has worked a little while my long suffering husbando has been off work. For me, pregnancy sickness seems to be very linked to motion of any type. Bleurgh.

5. Ginger biscuits are good, but let me put this one to rest......I found they helped in the early stages of nausea, at the 5 weeks stage, but when you get to the really sick stage, they don't work, and if one more person tries to advise me to eat them as a miracle cure, I might just hit them. ( it's not in my nature to be violent, but you know, hormones change things ! )

6. The more tired I get, the worse it becomes, so yeah, a good excuse to be in bed most of the day.

7. Toilets should at all times be VERY clean. Head in a stinky toilet just makes a nasty thing more nasty.

8.  Be aware of splash back ! If you have drank lots of fluid, it'll come out with force, and splash you right back in the face. Don't say I didn't warn you. Yes I have had sick in my eye, and no, it isn't something I would wish on any body.

9. Don't drink too little however, as the sick will then get stuck in your throat, and then you're really in trouble, it will burn your throat pipe something chronic. Stomach acid is vicious stuff !

10. And lastly I shall leave you with this, the 'you'll feel better when you get to your second trimester ' doesn't wash with me. 

A new life begins.....

So I can finally announce my news........... I'm having another baby ! ( I know it should read 'we' but right now, it's me who is doing all the work ! ) 

I am excited, rather nervous and feeling very sick. It's been weird writing blog posts the past few months and not mention something which is all consuming, and life changing I guess. Pregnancy and I don't seem to mix hugely well - I am a kind of 'feel sick 24/7' kind of girl, so the last few months have been joyful, but pretty tough going too. I feel very blessed to be carrying a new life, It's easy to take it for granted, but I know it's a privilege, and one not everyone gets to experience.
So I shall try and keep the moaning about puking to a minimum ( try ! )

Here's a post I wrote about two months ago...........

A few weeks ago, I found out I am pregnant. The line on the test surprised me. It took quite a long time to get pregnant with my daughter, and I just thought the same would be true again. But a positive test is just the long road on a journey to actually giving birth isn't it. I've had a couple of miscarriages, so know that a pregnancy doesn't always end in the way you'd like it. This kind of means that some of the excitement of finding out I'm pregnant has been taken away. But it's still exciting, a bit. I think I'll feel it more when we get past the first trimester and things seem to be okay. If all goes according to plan ( And i keep telling myself 'why should it not' ) we'll have another baby in February.

This feels like a nice time, we'll get to the really tired 'we've not slept for 5 months' bit in July, just in time for the husband to have 6 weeks off work, so I am kind of hoping that will make that stage a little easier. ( I like to presume that a baby won't sleep through til maybe 9 months if your lucky, and anything before then is a bonus - saves a lot of frustration and disappointment ! ) So I'm already planning coping strategies for this time. Plan for the worst and hope for the best ! ;)

When I was pregnant with my Little Tyke, I was really sick, and I remember thinking how on earth I'd do this again with a toddler, but now I'm not that bothered. I know it will be tough, but I think the thing that scares me the most is getting as exhausted and sometimes bed bound as I did last time when she was about 6 months, and feeling a bit out of control mentally too. Mental feelings of unwellness are far worse than physical in my experience. Feeling not like myself and a bit like I can't get up and face the day is just the worse thing I've ever felt. So yesterday as I threw up, felt dizzy and staggered around a bit while attempting to look after a toddler, I actually managed better than I thought I would. I realise when I've got a big belly, and a pelvis that causes me pain - I may find it harder. But it's funny how what you once thought you wouldn't be able to cope with, can fade into insignificance when you've been through something so much harder.

Yes we'll need to pay for extra help in the early days, which will be a strain on our already stretched finances, but another thing I have had the pleasure of experiencing is God's provision through very very generous friends and family, and the government a little bit too. So while the worry around being too unwell to work after baby number 1 was huge, now I know that somehow we'll make it through, and my slightly malfunctioning body can only cope with a few things, and working as well as caring for a little one, getting up and dressed for the day, isn't something I can do. This used to bother me, I hate to think people would think that I was just being lazy, but now, I don't care. The people who I love the most know that's not true, and the people who I don't, to be honest, I don't care what they think anymore.

There were things about pregnancy I loved last time, the feeling of having a moving person inside is just amazing, I loved getting to know her movements, and as I was quite unwell spent a lot of time sitting in bed with the time to notice these things, I know this pregnancy it may be different. In some ways I feel sad that this will be the last time I'll be part of creating another human. I'd love more kids, but think 2 will be it for us, and I am grateful for these two. In my mind our new little one is already here, s/he is just inside growing, but still very much alive and a part of our family. I hope s/he sticks around. I don't want to have another miscarriage.

I saw it's little heart beating away on the scan yesterday, only 3mm long and barely visible it's still so early, but it was there. There was talk of two pregnancy sacks, but THANKFULLY the second was just a blood vessel - they think..........two babies at once would send me over the edge. Just one baby please ! Back in 10 days to confirm there's just one.

I know that for many, pregnancy doesn't end in a healthy baby, or a baby at all. This makes me sad, I'm not someone who is oblivious to what can go wrong, so find it hard to balance this knowledge with relaxing knowing that it is more likely to be okay than not, and enjoying the expectant feeling of waiting to meet my baby.

My last labour was straightforward and quick...please let the next one be too. But maybe not too much quicker. Giving birth alone in the house while looking after a toddler is probably not the safest method of delivery.... :) But that's a long way off yet. One step at a time ey.

So there it is, a new life growing away, kicking and developing without any conscious effort from me. It really is a wonderful wonderful miracle. Thankyou God for including me in your creation of another person. And please if possible can I stop feeling quite so ill soon !

Ten on Tuesday

Yes it really is Tuesday.....how unusual !

This week has been a week around the house, attempting to bring order to some corners of our home ( this has been entirely unsuccessful) and generally catching our breath a little post holiday. While watching the Olympics of course. Neither me nor husbando have been particularly well, so at times it's felt like a bit of a slog. But thanks to McCains oven chips, lots of toast, and a few sunny days with baths in the paddling pool, we are all still alive, clean and fed !

So here goes with what has turned out to be a slightly eclectic ten. See point number 5 for a reason for the distinct lack of photos around here.


1. Little tyke is still enjoying mastering the English Language, my favourite quote was last week as we pulled up to a friends house and she said 'We found it, well done Mummy!' I was a little shocked as I think it was the first time she'd put so many words altogether, and also that there was any question that we wouldn't find the house of a friend we've been visiting for, er, well about 6 years.

2. I have been pondering many things this week, and one of them has been what it means to be a good wife, Or the wife that I think God wants me to be, I want to be, and my husband would like me to be. It raises lots of questions, and if I'm honest I feel I fall very short on this one. When not always very well, and with a toddler to care for, it's easy to just not have anything left mentally, emotionally or physically to give to each other. I know I'm not alone in feeling like this. This week I sat down and just for a few moments brought to mind all the things I love about the lovely Mr Deano, a few moments thought went a long way. I always know he's a good one, but definitely need to remind myself just a little bit more.

3. On a lighter note, it's sunny today, a welcome surprise as Mr Weather man told me to prepare for stormy skies. Bliss.

4. Little Tyke's feet are finally big enough to warrant a pair of crocks, we bought her a pair on holiday and they have just been the best most practical shoe she has. Brilliant for camping and at the beach, then in and out the paddling pool at home and she can take them off herself -She has learnt to do just that when going upstairs. £15 well spent. ( although it's a shame they won't fit her next spring ey ! ) 

5. I haven't been feeling tippady top recently, so my poor camera has been very neglected, hence a lack of 'week in pictures' around here. I keep looking at the summery flowers, and beautiful light and thinking I'm missing lots of lovely shots. Ah well, Autumn will arrive soon enough with it's beautiful colours and interesting shadows, so all is not lost. 

6. This morning before 9am, we had done painting, played in the paddling pool and made a birthday card........... I was very relieved when Daddy emerged to facilitate a little rest for me after such adventures. LT loves painting, and I find it hard to say no to requests for such activities, but it would be nice if the cleaning up fairy came with the pots of paints ey ? 

7.  Every week I discover more things which you can throw in the dishwasher......paint pots and brushes...(.as long as you don't mind any clear plastic items coming out a little 'colourful'), dustpan and brush go in and come out as good as new, and of course all the obligatory plastic toys which got left out in the garden for just a few too many days. I LOVE our dishwasher. 

8. My Brother's girlfriend is a film buff, a proper one who studied it at a university and everything ! She very kindly sent me a package with some films to watch. I requested a few which weren't necessarily english speaking, and were about humanity - but not too sad. So far I have watched  The Day I became a woman  and Blame it on fidel. ( click on the links for a film synopsis ) I think I enjoyed 'blame it on Fidel' the most out of the two. I love films from children's perspective, and this one does it beautifully. With British subtitles the french language kind of adds a beautiful poetry to the film while you watch it, the storyline is really strong. It is a little bit of an arty film, but not too much. I'd definitely recommend watching it, if you're looking for something just a bit different, with a bit of a political history lesson thrown in alongside a fascinating look into the lives of a french family in the 70s.

9. On thursday we head to my parent's house for a family BBQ type gathering. We have two family birthdays to celebrate, and haven't been altogether since Christmas, so I'm really looking forward to it. I love my family, and although at times we are a little stressful when assembled as one, Sometimes being with them serves as a bit of a homing device for me, I kind of come back to myself, my true self. I am blessed with 3 siblings and two parents who are, well, just really nice. I know this is unusual, and I never take it for granted. Bring on the Jesson family shindig. 

10. I painted the windowsill in our kitchen. It has been returned to it's former brilliant white glory. Much better than the stained and dirty look it was sporting.

The demise of my beautiful scarf

This post is a long story essentially about poo, so maybe don't read it if you're eating. (There are nice bits in it too though )

On our holidays only a few weeks ago I packed my lovely scarf from Zara which I purchased with a birthday voucher about 3 years ago. For a scarf, and for what I usually spend on such accessorises, it was quite expensive. But it was pretty and a summery type one, with butterflies on it, It was the obvious choice to spend my much treasured voucher on. It served me well for about 3 years, that was, until one fateful day of seaside fun without a changing bag. This is me, with it, and my Little Tyke just as this story began..........

My lovely Dad towed his wee caravan to anglesey for us to holiday in, ( yes he is that nice ) so before he left to drive the 4 hours home, we headed down to the beach for an ice cream with 'bamps'. He and little tyke ventured into the sea while I bought the ice creams. I could see them in the distance paddling in the shallow water, then slowly the paddling became splashing and then gave way to vigorous jumping about. We hadn't really planned to stay long or kind of 'do' the beach thing, so my weary afternoon self hadn't prepared for any eventualities at all......... ooops. Sometimes being an efficient mother is just a little too much isn't it ? I like to think it's good for kids to make do with a bit of spit and a wipe from the bottom of their T shirt when you forget a baby wipe ! Anyway, as my daughter and father embarked on what only can be described as a moment of uninhibited spontaneous fun, the realisation that she had a nappy on which would now be waterlogged, and was basically soaked from head to toe, slowly dawned on me. When the little party of wet people returned to our picnic blanket, we ate ice creams and didn't really mention the wet nappy, and wet child issue. A quick decision was then made that we would eat out, the sun was out, the sky was blue, and the thought of eating a basic pasta creation thrown together in the caravan was far from appealing. I love being spontaneous and I think with British weather you just have to be ey..........sieze the moment, and the weather, and the good moods of all involved.
So we wandered to a pizzaria and sat outside watching the waves, and basking in the blue sky and early evening sunlight. I plonked my wet little tyke into a high chair, she wasn't cold, so I just thought she'd be fine til we made it back to the caravan.

It was only when we ordered it dawned on me that the nappy situation probably needed addressing. There had been no 'dirty' nappy all day, so I knew a little visit from the poo fairy was probably imminent. Now the thing about a soaked disposable nappy is they get heavy, really heavy, and my little tike is a petit little thing, so the nappy was basically round her knees. If any solids were to arrive, lets just say they wouldn't have remained contained, at all. Sure enough as our food was about to arrive,  I smelt the smell............as soon as my nose connected with my brain, I took her to the toilets, sans nappy, wipes or anything vaguely resembling any of the above, hoping that my mother instincts would kick in and I'd just know what to do. There were no changing facilities, so I stood her on the sink unit, and gave the little encouragement required the nappy fasteners to give way beneath their load, whereupon the solid fell off her bum, on the sink unit ( bear that in mind ladies next time you put your bag down on one ). So the nappy got binned, there was wiping and as much 'cleaning' as was possible with a wet bit of cheap toilet paper.............Then comes the sad part, I knew there was to be about a 15 minute time gap til we reached the comfort of our campsite and a nappy, so yes, you guessed it, I took off my beautiful scarf, and formed it into a little nappy, tightly nestled around my daughters cute little bottom......I was quite pleased with my knot tying, nappy creating skills......It was one stylish nappy let me tell you, it lacked what an average nappy should in absorbency, but hey, you can't have it all. 

I would like to say that at this point, we ate, went home, washed my scarf, and it is now safely reinstated in my wardrobe. The truth however is different. JUST AS I HAD FINISHED sacrificing my garment to the world of nappies, my lovely husbando knocked on the door, saying he had realised they sold nappies in the shop next door, and had bought a little packet and some wipes. ARSE ! is all I was thinking, 'Thanks sweetheart' was what I said. So the now slightly smeared with poo scarf was taken off ( my clean up job was clearly not as good as I first thought) The scarf was replaced with an actual nappy, and then placed in another nappy for transportation home for washing and 'operation scarf recovery'. Little tyke had now joined the nappy wearing co hort of 1 year olds which littered the place we were in, and I seruptiously put my clean nappy with 'a scarf which also was briefly a nappy' in a bag to take home.

And beathe.................. the saga was over. We ate, went home, happy, clean (ish), revelling in that lovely 'first night of holiday' feeling. The bedtime debacle wasn't too bad, our friends arrived for the weekend, with a tv, food was eaten, the opening ceremony of the olympics viewed ( hooray, we thought we'd miss it ), and sleep washed over us at the end of a busy day.

The scarf however, oh my scarf, it doesn't end well....It got thrown away in it's disguise as a used nappy....Yes it's true, all my efforts to get it safely home were in vain, my lovely scarf, which matched most of my clothes, was used as 'boob concealer' while breastfeeding, headscarf, round the waist scarf, any which way scarf, met it's end all because I forgot to pack a changing bag, and allowed too much sea side frivolity.

That'll learn me ey.....always, ALWAYS take a spare nappy. 

A few thoughts

In much of my working life in whatever form, (my 'career' path has been a little unusual, but that's another story) I've always spent time around vulnerable children and families in some context or other. The issues which vulnerable women in our nation face are often on my mind, and I have spent many an hour in a sexual health clinic, police station, ante natal ward or Social services meeting attempting to provide some small level of support to women facing the multitude of problems they face.

Clearly if you read this blog regularly you'll know that the last two years I haven't had the capacity to be involved in such activities, and if I'm honest, I really miss it. Yes there is some level of satisfaction one gets from knowing that I am in some way contributing just a little to the lives of others, but more than that I think it keeps things in perspective. In the UK we are so unbelievable good at masking the problems our people face, and I live in a very privileged place, both physically and emotionally. But SO many women don't. And it's not just cos i've made 'good choices'........... that mindset really bothers me. I have just been 'blessed', 'lucky' whatever you want to label it as. I miss spending time around women drastically different from myself, I learn from them, laugh with them, and often come away feeling like I have gained something I just can't quite put my finger on. I have learnt the hard way that I am certainly not the answer to their problems, and there are other people far better positioned to actually bring lasting change to their lives. But I still know that I have a small role to play, me in their lives and they in mine.

Anyway, I digress. In an attempt for me not to loose touch entirely with the practise, ethics and policy which affects the beautiful women I'm talking about, I try to listen to and read up on debate about these issues. I often forget to share these linkys on this blog, but tonight, I remembered.

This one is really interesting. You can get the link here, or log onto iTunes, go to podcasts, and the BBC 'inside the ethics committee' is where you'll find it.

This one is about preventing pregnancy in homeless women.

I'd love to hear your comments if you listen to it. Just type them in below where it says 'comment'

Ten on .....Friday !

1. I have started keeping my eye out for a toddler bed on ebay, there is a 'thomas the tank' one I know Willow would love that is super cheap, but I just can't bear to have it in the house.....does that make me a bad parent.

2. The rare occasion occurred today that I did some cooking, really fancied a tomato chickeny peppery type casserole. Willow helped me, she tore the peppers and put the potatoes in the pan....... she loved it and so did I. 

3. Galaxy chocolate, lets talk about it. It's delicious, creamy, and did I mention delicious? I would like to meet the person who created it, just to let them know how much I appreciate their creation.

4. Olympics.....wow, how good has it been ?! Still very disappointed not to have been there and experience it all in the flesh, but the tears have flowed which the medal presentations happened, and we've sat on the edge of our seats watching, waiting for the next medal. I like to think I could have been an olympic athlete if I wanted to.....yeah right ! Oh but If I was, I would have done the open water swim or maybe the high jump, definitely not gymnastics or the 400 meters. Just thought you might like to know.

5. We saw Mr tumble on our holiday ! In the world of pre school kids this is fairly exciting. We went to a tiny little bay in Anglesey called Moelfre, mainly to go to an amazing coffee shop which sells delicious cakes. The coffee shop was closed, but Mr tumble was filming, so our journey was not wasted. This isn't the best photo really, but there he is looking out to sea in the background. 

6. With olympic fever sweeping our nation and household It brings to the forefront of my mind, my desire to excersise. I have been limited in what exercise I can do for a long time now, but pre little tyke days I did manage a gentle swim or a short jog, I really miss this, and often worry about my lack of fitness. But at the moment the energy just won't allow it, booooooo. It also keeps me a bit sane, getting out and exercising, even just a walk, so let this point serve as a little prayer, please Lord, a wee bit more energy please to swim a few lengths or a nice walk :)

7. We were passed down a bit bag of peppa pig figures and polley pocket type stuff with a few barbies thrown in there too. I had put most of them away for when little tyke is older, but she found a few of the little 'polly pocket' barbie type dolls, she calls them 'tiny ladies' how cute is that ! But also, how weird are barbies ? Such an odd creation.

8. I'm not sure how many ice creams it is advisable for a nearly 2 year old to eat, but so far I think we are on one a day in our house......dairy and sugar overload - oooops.

9.  Here's my little beauty throwing stones into the shiny sea...... the attempts to throw aren't going too well, actually letting go of the stone seems to be the problem.

10. A lovely friend of ours has given us a set of chest of drawers.......bliss, another place to put some of our ever increasing junk ! Thankyou Jo :)

Holiday times

Having finally got through the pile of 'crap in the hallway' I have had a chance to sit down and look through a few holiday pics. We really did have a lovely holiday, and it was all I'd hoped it would be. Just a simple time with our little family, and a few friends who joined us for a long weekend. Simple holidays with little ones are definitely the way to go.

I took this photo on a day when the forecast was awful, it proceeded a bad night sleep as it was SO windy the caravan felt like it was about to roll down a hill. The husbando I had slightly lost the will to sit on a windy beach again, so we headed to a National trust property with our shiny new members car sticker. I have to say, when we got there out little hearts sank as we pulled up to the car park, having chosen this place as it said it had a great children's playground, only to see a few planks of wood which even an energetic 8 year old might struggle to 'play' on. We almost gave up and conceded that we would have to spend a small fortune and go to the 'sea zoo' next door, when thankfully we realised that this was in fact just a little park and the main even was hidden in the depth of a beautiful woodland. Phew. It was one of those days where it takes all your effort to have a 'nice time', not argue and make the best of the british weather. 

Thankfully the National trust didn't disappoint, and I even got a ride in the disabled golf buggy back up the hill to the carpark....hanging out where the oldies do is the way forward sometimes !!

I love love love bodyboarding and swimming in the sea, however cold, I will usually give it a try. It's kind of like a magnet pulling me in, and I have on many occasions been known to just jump in regardless of the presence of a towel or swimsuit. Clearly having CFS kind of curtails such activities, but part of the reason I chose our holidaying location is we can easily park near the sea, and the beach was near enough the campsite to just pop down for an hour. So, after a lovely long lunchtime sleep, I took my little girl into the water, mostly just for a splash around and a sit in the waves, but I had my moment, to sit feel the waves crash over me, breathe in the sea air, look at the hills in the distance and feel very thankful to God for little opportunities like these. I am learning to focus on these little achievements, not just look over at the bodyboarders and windsurfers wishing I was joining in with them. My day will come. ( Kite surfing however, isn't an ambition of mine, that just looks like slightly dangerous, very hard work !)

Playing in the sand while Daddy did a spot of kayaking.

Sand, and seaweed. So beautiful.

Dig dig dig, just before the clouds set in and 4 adults and 1 toddler squashed into a teeny tiny tent to hide from the downpour - there was no room to move the arms to take a photo, but it was very amusing!

Crap in the hallway

The thing about holidays, especially of the camping/caravanning variety is.....

When we get back....................

We have a bag with some dental floss, a pair of wet trousers and a tea towel in ( does anyone actually pack to come home as well as when your leaving ? )

Despite leaving our house in a dirty mess ( in the full anticipation of the cleaner coming in our absence ) even when she didn't come, the place still feels practically pristine after living in slum like conditions for a week.

Small child has not watched ANY tv for a 6 days, so an hours worth of viewing is entirely acceptable for once.

Our hallway looks like we decided to put the contents of our wardrobes, kitchen plastics cupboard and general 'household crap' into a giant shaker and then tip it out.

You come back with a tan even if it wasn't that sunny.

The sofa feels extra comfy and the bath tub all the more inviting.

There is a 'closed in' feeling which causes me to want to go back, just to sit on a chair drinking tea in the cold, look at the mountains on the horizon and know that the beach is just down the road.

If we haven't had an argument while packing up to come home, we feel proud of ourselves.......today was one such day. Well done team Deane.

Yes we are home. 

There was a holiday in a field and it was good.