There is Joy and there is joy. I hear talk of Joy which can't be taken away by circumstance, but sometimes, these days I struggle to actually experience it.
This week has been a little 'clogged up' with the weeds which come with life, and wrap themselves around what was once clean, new and unspoilt.
Longing after my more joyful self, my optimism and hope to come back and visit, stay a while.
Wondering, wondering if that self will come back to visit soon. Please do.
There has been mud pie making which makes me smile, the promise of a new hair cut, and a new pair of sunnies for the season. But all these things are just substitutes for that lovely inner contended feeling. The one I am blessed with most of the time, so when it goes - I feel a part of me is missing.
These things too shall pass I am told. And I do truly believe that 'Joy does come in the morning' I have known it so often. But sometimes the morning takes just a little bit longer to come than we hope for ey?
This week will end, and hopefully the next one will be a bit better.
It's so very humbling feeling weak, afraid and unable to cope. So far from the self I thought I would see in the mirror at this stage of my life.
But no one is exempt from feeling a bit, well crap I guess. We can all put in place a '5 point plan' for 'happiness' and 'health' but these plans don't allow for many things that life on this earth throws at us do they?
I rest in Him, and like the old skool song reminds me, ' He's got the whole world in His hands '