Do you ever wonder, do I actually need that ?
I do, and it gets me in a pickle.
Its reached a stage when many of my clothes are falling apart, or don't fit, and it's spring and I would also like some new ones !
But how does one differentiate between need and want ?
I think by today's standards, in england where really you kind of need to look a little bit co-ordinated and 'nice' to fit in. I probably do need some new spring/summer clothes. But really, do I need them ?
It's not like I will walk around naked without them, so I guess the answer is no, no I don't.
But I feel like I do.......so maybe that's ok ?
You have to live where you live, and kind of fit in a bit I guess.
The fact that I like clothes, and enjoy picking out new things makes it even more tricky. Cos if you enjoy fulfilling a 'need' then it can make you ( well me anyway) question if it is a need or not ? do you see what I mean ?
It also can make it more tricky to convince the person who you share your money with that you do 'need' some new clothes. The fact that you like them, can make it seem a bit too much like it's something you just 'want'..... but what if you want your need ? !
I like drinking freshly squeezed orange juice, do I need it ? Well, vitamins from oranges in some form, yes I do.
Pah, I don't know.........
Any thoughts people ?
Thursday, 29 March 2012
First time parent tips for CFS mummies
So, there are looooooads of blog posts about tips for first time mums, so I thought why not add to the barage of advice ! But I didn't find much in the way of advice for parents with CFS. ( Chronic Fatigue Syndrome ) so here goes.
If you are reading this and you don't have CFS, chances are some of them might be relevant anyway. Caring for a little wriggler is tiring for even the most energetic of bods.
Remember that, for now, you aren't quite like other first time Mum's, and trying to be will just make you more unwell. Coming to terms with this will save you a lot of problems.
BUT having a baby when you have CFS can still be hugely joyful, and rewarding, just a little different.
All of this is purely from my experience, and every Mum is different, as is every CFS sufferer, so just take the ideas with a pinch of salt.
The Early months
Feeding baby
When deciding how to feed your little bundle of loveliness, take into consideration that breastfeeding will drain your energy more than with bottles -and it is less easy to get a long sleep or break as,well, only you have the boobs ! This doesn't mean you can't, but going in with your eyes open is always the best plan. I breastfed but made a few adjustments to make it work for me...... I introduced a formula feed at the 11 o'clock feed at about 3 weeks. My husband could give her that feed. This meant I fed at 8pm then went to bed and could sleep til about 2am without being woken up. A friend who doesn't have CFS recommended this to me and it really was a total life saver. Leaving it any longer than 3 weeks and you run the risk of them not taking the bottle. You could express for this feed, but to be honest that is just more tiring. ( I found anyway )
I found that CFS didn't really affect me too badly during the first 3 months, as I spent most of it in bed or on the sofa with a baby feeding. It didn't go away, and I still felt unwell, but it was too debilitating. The beauty of breastfeeding is there are no bottles to wash, and If you do manage to get out the house, as long as you have a sparsely packed changing bag, you can just leave as you are.
Feeding you
If people offer to make you meals/clean/tidy or do some shopping for you - ACCEPT THE HELP ! I found that communicating with people about this was very draining so my Husband did all the organising of these things, which meant they were a help, not more tiring. Talking to people can be as draining as going out for a walk, so beware of too many visitors/people.
If you are reliant on your partner doing all the cooking, as I was, and mostly still am. Look into buying some healthy ready meals. Sainsburys and Ocado do some lovely ones, yes there are a wee bit pricey, but if you can stretch to it, it will give your OH a welcome break, and might buy you just a little bit of time sitting together. I found it a bit lonely at times, as when he was at home rather than working he had to always be doing housework or cooking, so we rarely got to sit down together. Discovering nice, healthy ready meals was a great help in the early days, and 18 months on, still is.
Changing
Unless your OH is pretty set on the idea, don't bother with washable nappies, save that for the more able bodied. Unless you can afford to pay for those companies who come and collect them, wash them and bring them back, it will just be another thing you can't do. Mentally and emotionally the less things you feel like you can't do, the better. I tried them for a while, but my lovely Husband was already stretched to his limit without having to wash nappies. Yes we will go to eco hell, but hey at least we'll go there happy and still married. ( I haven't been in an aeroplane for 6 years, so I like to think that balances it just a little ?!!!)
Domestic tasks !
If you don't have many offers of help and are struggling, contact a 'home care' agency. They will come in and do some daily tasks for you. Washing, tidying, shopping, food prep. I didn't have this with my first child, but when we have another one I probably will.
If you are someone who doesn't cope well with mess and a dirty house, then if you can possibly afford it, get a cleaner. If you can't afford it weekly, most agencies will just pop in for a one off clean now and again to keep you a float. Some people can ignore mess and a less than shiny bathroom, if you are one of these people great, but if not, you will probably feel a little less overwhelmed if you have shiny taps once in a while !
Baby groups
There is this weird obsession in middle class England of getting out and sitting in rooms with babies 'doing' things. Most of these activities are really for the Mums sanity to get them out the house. If you can go to one or two, great, if you don't benefit from them yourself and you end up more exhausted, really, whilst your baby is under about 10 months they won't miss out. If you know anyone else with other babies, get them to come to your house for a short amount of time for a bit of interaction. ( less noisy in small quantities !) Other than that, your baby really won't be any less of a genius for not going !
When your little one gets a bit older and starts to crawl they might enjoy them a bit, if you can get to one, I get a taxi there, don't walk as you'll use up energy whilst there, so you might need to save it for the upping and downing involved in picking your child. If you can, find a small one, in one room, and go regularly, then you will get to know the people there and maybe explain a bit about your condition so if you need help they may offer. This feels less alienating than going to lots of bigger groups and expounding more energy than if you just go to one and get to know it and other parents there.
Weaning
I have to be honest this was the stage I found the most exhausting and kind of hit a brick wall. By now your baby will be roughly 6 months old. If you aren't coping and your CFS is getting worse, now might be the time to have help with some childcare if you aren't already. A friend/ relative/ childminder having your little one for a morning once or twice a week, could just be what you need. Babies are often not sleeping through by this point, but are requiring more from you in the day, milk feeds, solids, more mess, more clearing up, more awake time, it really is tough. So take what help you can get, or pay someone for it if needs be.
If you would be a 'make everything from scratch' Mum then thankfully there are some brilliant products out there which are organic and not full of nasties. Gone are the days when you can only buy some powdered lamb stew - (God only knows how they make that stuff !) Ella's kitchen, Baby Plum, and Organix all do brilliant things. I weaned my little tyke almost entirely on their products. That and just giving them single ingredients of what you could spend ages making into something. Like a lump of broccoli and a bit of omelette, etc etc. some people call this 'baby led weaning' for me, it was more like 'low energy weaning' and coupled with goo from tubes and pots, we just about, made it through.
Also, until babies are about 9 months, they don't necessarily need 3 'meals' per day. With milk, as well, often 2 meals and some rice cakes to nibble in between is enough.
Frozen mash is great and sainsburys do it without added salt.
Fish - easy to microwave and most babies love it. Just by frozen fillets, easy peasy.
Frozen peas do well in the microwave if lifting heavy pans is a problem ( my daughter walks to the freezer and shouts 'PEAS' then eats them frozen, she loves them that much.
Omlette - easy peasy and quick to cook so no standing at the cooker for ages.
The weaning phase for me, was a total blur. Most days I felt like I had flu, the brain fog was horrendous and our house was bordering on a health hazard at times. It was tough, getting help and regular rest at this stage is essential if you are struggling. But, you might not find this - you might sail through !
Other energy saving tips/ activities
When your little one is able to sit up, have a shower together, I found sitting on the floor of our shower cubicle with my little one, was a brilliant, low energy activity that she loved, got me and her clean and also got her used to water. We still do this now, it's great. Remember to sit tho - standing whilst holding a heavy lump defeats the object !
As your baby gets older and needs to start getting out and about, if you are able to get out even for an hour, plan these times when you have some childcare on the same day. My friend and mother in law have my daughter 2 afternoons a week, so if I can, I try to get out on those mornings, as I know I can rest afterwards.
If you live in a city, hackney cabs are great, as you can put your pushchair straight in the back of the cab, no lifting of heavy carseats. Brilliant. Most places have ones which you can phone to collect you from your house like a usual taxi, so you don't have to walk to hail one. This really has been a total lifesaver for me, without them I wouldn't get out much at all. Even if people offer you lifts, there is still the car seat inning and outing and lifting child in and out, in and out to contend with.
Remember, everyone who has a small baby would say they are teetering on the edge of exhaustion and sanity at times. So be kind to yourself. Having a long term health condition only makes a tough job tougher.
Whatever you use/need - cup/spoon/bowl/ dummies/bottles etc. have lots of them. Even if their cup is in the other room, if you have lots you can just get another one out rather than walk to get it.
Most parents put their children in a bouncy chair to look out the window/at toys for short periods of time while they cook/clean/ put clothes away/ get ready to go out. Doing this to enable you to lie on the sofa isn't child neglect ! As long as they aren't distressed, and they get talked to lots in between these times, in my opinion they will be fine. It just feels weird cos your not doing anything ! This took me a long time to get my head around. I still put my daughter in her cot to sleep at nap time and bed time before I know she'll go to sleep, she has learned to lie there and amuse herself for up to half an hour. Not all babies will do this, but with a bit of coaxing, most will.
Final thoughts
However well you managed having CFS before you have a baby, you will have to re adapt to a new way of life. The days where you could do something you enjoyed, but spend the next 3 days after 'paying' for it by lying in bed are kind of gone, you just have to be more careful as there are far more consequences now if you overdo it. But that is part of being a parent, responsibility, it's tough, and even more tough when you'r body doesn't work like it ought to.
Remember this baby phase doesn't last that long. If you feel unwell constantly and are struggling to cope, It will pass, and although there will be other challenges as your bundle gets older, once you are getting more sleep, things will be easier.
If you are reading this and you don't have CFS, chances are some of them might be relevant anyway. Caring for a little wriggler is tiring for even the most energetic of bods.
Remember that, for now, you aren't quite like other first time Mum's, and trying to be will just make you more unwell. Coming to terms with this will save you a lot of problems.
BUT having a baby when you have CFS can still be hugely joyful, and rewarding, just a little different.
All of this is purely from my experience, and every Mum is different, as is every CFS sufferer, so just take the ideas with a pinch of salt.
The Early months
Feeding baby
When deciding how to feed your little bundle of loveliness, take into consideration that breastfeeding will drain your energy more than with bottles -and it is less easy to get a long sleep or break as,well, only you have the boobs ! This doesn't mean you can't, but going in with your eyes open is always the best plan. I breastfed but made a few adjustments to make it work for me...... I introduced a formula feed at the 11 o'clock feed at about 3 weeks. My husband could give her that feed. This meant I fed at 8pm then went to bed and could sleep til about 2am without being woken up. A friend who doesn't have CFS recommended this to me and it really was a total life saver. Leaving it any longer than 3 weeks and you run the risk of them not taking the bottle. You could express for this feed, but to be honest that is just more tiring. ( I found anyway )
I found that CFS didn't really affect me too badly during the first 3 months, as I spent most of it in bed or on the sofa with a baby feeding. It didn't go away, and I still felt unwell, but it was too debilitating. The beauty of breastfeeding is there are no bottles to wash, and If you do manage to get out the house, as long as you have a sparsely packed changing bag, you can just leave as you are.
Feeding you
If people offer to make you meals/clean/tidy or do some shopping for you - ACCEPT THE HELP ! I found that communicating with people about this was very draining so my Husband did all the organising of these things, which meant they were a help, not more tiring. Talking to people can be as draining as going out for a walk, so beware of too many visitors/people.
If you are reliant on your partner doing all the cooking, as I was, and mostly still am. Look into buying some healthy ready meals. Sainsburys and Ocado do some lovely ones, yes there are a wee bit pricey, but if you can stretch to it, it will give your OH a welcome break, and might buy you just a little bit of time sitting together. I found it a bit lonely at times, as when he was at home rather than working he had to always be doing housework or cooking, so we rarely got to sit down together. Discovering nice, healthy ready meals was a great help in the early days, and 18 months on, still is.
Changing
Unless your OH is pretty set on the idea, don't bother with washable nappies, save that for the more able bodied. Unless you can afford to pay for those companies who come and collect them, wash them and bring them back, it will just be another thing you can't do. Mentally and emotionally the less things you feel like you can't do, the better. I tried them for a while, but my lovely Husband was already stretched to his limit without having to wash nappies. Yes we will go to eco hell, but hey at least we'll go there happy and still married. ( I haven't been in an aeroplane for 6 years, so I like to think that balances it just a little ?!!!)
Changing bags can be heavy. Just pack in one what you need. It is unlikely with CFS you will be going out for a full day, or to the back of beyond, so as long as you have a nappy a small pack of wipes, a change of clothes and any food required, that is all you need. If you get really stuck, shops sell things, and other parents lend things.
Have changing equipment in every room you spend time in. Don't waste energy carrying baby from one room to the next just to change a nappy.
PND
I can't speak from experience, cos if I did have PND, it wasn't the conventional type and hit me a bit later than normal. The problem with PND is many of the symptoms are the same as CFS, so it can be very hard to work out what's what. I had a new GP when I had my daughter and she just thought I had PND, but when I spoke to a CFS specialist they thought I didn't it was just CFS getting worse, and my mind not coping with it.
But always get help, if you are struggling to cope with the emotional affects of having CFS and it's frustrations - get referred to a councillor. You can usually get this on the NHS, and if your GP thinks you have PND, just go with it and you'll get a referral much quicker. Don't be afraid of getting into the 'mental health service'. Sadly, if you have a bit of a 'label' for a while, you will get more help. It's not as scary a place as you might think.
Domestic tasks !
If you don't have many offers of help and are struggling, contact a 'home care' agency. They will come in and do some daily tasks for you. Washing, tidying, shopping, food prep. I didn't have this with my first child, but when we have another one I probably will.
If you are someone who doesn't cope well with mess and a dirty house, then if you can possibly afford it, get a cleaner. If you can't afford it weekly, most agencies will just pop in for a one off clean now and again to keep you a float. Some people can ignore mess and a less than shiny bathroom, if you are one of these people great, but if not, you will probably feel a little less overwhelmed if you have shiny taps once in a while !
Baby groups
There is this weird obsession in middle class England of getting out and sitting in rooms with babies 'doing' things. Most of these activities are really for the Mums sanity to get them out the house. If you can go to one or two, great, if you don't benefit from them yourself and you end up more exhausted, really, whilst your baby is under about 10 months they won't miss out. If you know anyone else with other babies, get them to come to your house for a short amount of time for a bit of interaction. ( less noisy in small quantities !) Other than that, your baby really won't be any less of a genius for not going !
When your little one gets a bit older and starts to crawl they might enjoy them a bit, if you can get to one, I get a taxi there, don't walk as you'll use up energy whilst there, so you might need to save it for the upping and downing involved in picking your child. If you can, find a small one, in one room, and go regularly, then you will get to know the people there and maybe explain a bit about your condition so if you need help they may offer. This feels less alienating than going to lots of bigger groups and expounding more energy than if you just go to one and get to know it and other parents there.
Weaning
I have to be honest this was the stage I found the most exhausting and kind of hit a brick wall. By now your baby will be roughly 6 months old. If you aren't coping and your CFS is getting worse, now might be the time to have help with some childcare if you aren't already. A friend/ relative/ childminder having your little one for a morning once or twice a week, could just be what you need. Babies are often not sleeping through by this point, but are requiring more from you in the day, milk feeds, solids, more mess, more clearing up, more awake time, it really is tough. So take what help you can get, or pay someone for it if needs be.
If you would be a 'make everything from scratch' Mum then thankfully there are some brilliant products out there which are organic and not full of nasties. Gone are the days when you can only buy some powdered lamb stew - (God only knows how they make that stuff !) Ella's kitchen, Baby Plum, and Organix all do brilliant things. I weaned my little tyke almost entirely on their products. That and just giving them single ingredients of what you could spend ages making into something. Like a lump of broccoli and a bit of omelette, etc etc. some people call this 'baby led weaning' for me, it was more like 'low energy weaning' and coupled with goo from tubes and pots, we just about, made it through.
Also, until babies are about 9 months, they don't necessarily need 3 'meals' per day. With milk, as well, often 2 meals and some rice cakes to nibble in between is enough.
Frozen mash is great and sainsburys do it without added salt.
Fish - easy to microwave and most babies love it. Just by frozen fillets, easy peasy.
Frozen peas do well in the microwave if lifting heavy pans is a problem ( my daughter walks to the freezer and shouts 'PEAS' then eats them frozen, she loves them that much.
Omlette - easy peasy and quick to cook so no standing at the cooker for ages.
The weaning phase for me, was a total blur. Most days I felt like I had flu, the brain fog was horrendous and our house was bordering on a health hazard at times. It was tough, getting help and regular rest at this stage is essential if you are struggling. But, you might not find this - you might sail through !
Other energy saving tips/ activities
When your little one is able to sit up, have a shower together, I found sitting on the floor of our shower cubicle with my little one, was a brilliant, low energy activity that she loved, got me and her clean and also got her used to water. We still do this now, it's great. Remember to sit tho - standing whilst holding a heavy lump defeats the object !
As your baby gets older and needs to start getting out and about, if you are able to get out even for an hour, plan these times when you have some childcare on the same day. My friend and mother in law have my daughter 2 afternoons a week, so if I can, I try to get out on those mornings, as I know I can rest afterwards.
If you live in a city, hackney cabs are great, as you can put your pushchair straight in the back of the cab, no lifting of heavy carseats. Brilliant. Most places have ones which you can phone to collect you from your house like a usual taxi, so you don't have to walk to hail one. This really has been a total lifesaver for me, without them I wouldn't get out much at all. Even if people offer you lifts, there is still the car seat inning and outing and lifting child in and out, in and out to contend with.
Remember, everyone who has a small baby would say they are teetering on the edge of exhaustion and sanity at times. So be kind to yourself. Having a long term health condition only makes a tough job tougher.
Whatever you use/need - cup/spoon/bowl/ dummies/bottles etc. have lots of them. Even if their cup is in the other room, if you have lots you can just get another one out rather than walk to get it.
Most parents put their children in a bouncy chair to look out the window/at toys for short periods of time while they cook/clean/ put clothes away/ get ready to go out. Doing this to enable you to lie on the sofa isn't child neglect ! As long as they aren't distressed, and they get talked to lots in between these times, in my opinion they will be fine. It just feels weird cos your not doing anything ! This took me a long time to get my head around. I still put my daughter in her cot to sleep at nap time and bed time before I know she'll go to sleep, she has learned to lie there and amuse herself for up to half an hour. Not all babies will do this, but with a bit of coaxing, most will.
Final thoughts
However well you managed having CFS before you have a baby, you will have to re adapt to a new way of life. The days where you could do something you enjoyed, but spend the next 3 days after 'paying' for it by lying in bed are kind of gone, you just have to be more careful as there are far more consequences now if you overdo it. But that is part of being a parent, responsibility, it's tough, and even more tough when you'r body doesn't work like it ought to.
Remember this baby phase doesn't last that long. If you feel unwell constantly and are struggling to cope, It will pass, and although there will be other challenges as your bundle gets older, once you are getting more sleep, things will be easier.
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
Ten on Tuesday
yo yo yo, it's that day of the week again. TUUUUEEESDAY.
So here are my ten........
1. Thought this was a bit of a weird amount to have in a bottle.......
2. Last night Little Tike woke up with a temperature of 39 degrees, scared me just a little. She is just snotty and got a bit over hot, but it's always hard not to have a slight freak out when your baby is that hot and those 30 or so mins for the calpol to work just seem a little bit toooooo long. She did get to watch 3 episodes of andy pandy while I furiously looked for a rash, or any other signs of impending doom.
She thought it was great...... I felt a little fraut.
3. I was in a taxi the other day, and there was a sign which read 'Charge for deaficating £30 ' interesting......... I was wondering if that counted if you caught it in a nappy ? What adult gets in a taxi and has a poo ?! Seriously people.
4. I am purchasing some new sandals this week - and am rather excited about it. I love summer attire and my other pair have finally given up on me, after 4 years of faithful service. Here they are, yes they do make them in size 9, yes they are lovely, and yes, they will be mine !
5. Due to point number 2, there wasn't huge amounts of sleep took place last night and I woke up with the same lurgy, so Husbando got an 'early dart' as he calls it from work to come and help......... this sweet little scene was the result of Daddy coming home to play. Moments like these make me realise just how blessed we are as a family.
6. This is what The little tike had for breakfast this morning....
She has a fixation with peas at the moment, frozen ones, straight from the freezer. She wouldn't eat her cereal, but did want peas and a rich tea- who am I to argue ?
And George got to eat some too, so that was nice.
8. The Little Tike and I went to stay with my parents this weekend, she had some serious fun with 'Bamps' and 'Bambaa', while I put my feet up. She has acquired a few new words as a result of our visit. 'schubert' ( the composer !) and ' crow'. How very cultured !!!!
9. My lovely neighbour not only lent us a digital thermometer last night in the 'hot child' incident ( yes we do have one, but couldn't find it - yes I know it should be somewhere where you can find it in these incidences- but have you seen our bedroom ?!) anyway, our neighbour...... she also popped round with these tasty Jam type creations. She is lovely.
10. I think that's enough for today, don't you ?
Linking in with the other laydeees.......
apartyofseven
somemothersdoavem
yeastandwest
thethingsiwanttosayblog
Monday, 26 March 2012
Thinkings
Haven't written many blog posts this last week or so, partly cos i've had a lot of 'feelings' ! And well, sometimes it's best to steer clear of sharing these with the world wide web I find. Other times it's ok, well maybe it isn't....................I am still undecided.
Sometimes blogging ( both reading and writing ) just seems like a gross over share of personal information and thoughts. Other times it feels, well, right.
I know I'm not the only one who periodically sits back, takes stock of life, my life and the others close to me, and just kind of chews it all over - Wondering what it's all about, if the bad things will get better, and if the good things are ok. And I think it's been a month of that.
It's strange how happiness and sorrow, completeness and dissatisfaction can sit so comfortably together isn't it ?
I was recently pregnant, then I wasn't, that was very sad, but also a strange relief...............
We were skint, then we weren't - that is nice, better..........................
Husbando has a job, but might not for much longer, that is a little less certain that we'd like, but not too much of a worry.........................
Willow was a baby, now she's a toddler who throws saucepan lids, and blows kisses to the lady behind the boots counter...............................
I was in my 20s, now i'm firmly in the land of 30's, a little unsure how to dress this summer...........................
I ate cake for breakfast more often than is advisable, so now weigh more than i'd like to.........................
I planted bulbs in december, now there are beautiful flowers....................................
The chancellor made a new budget, a few of us are worse off, but essentially life still just ticks along......................
These are my chewings, my thinkings.
And this is a pig, a huge ugly pig. But I thought he looked strangely cute, a deserved his snout to be published.
Sometimes blogging ( both reading and writing ) just seems like a gross over share of personal information and thoughts. Other times it feels, well, right.
I know I'm not the only one who periodically sits back, takes stock of life, my life and the others close to me, and just kind of chews it all over - Wondering what it's all about, if the bad things will get better, and if the good things are ok. And I think it's been a month of that.
It's strange how happiness and sorrow, completeness and dissatisfaction can sit so comfortably together isn't it ?
I was recently pregnant, then I wasn't, that was very sad, but also a strange relief...............
We were skint, then we weren't - that is nice, better..........................
Husbando has a job, but might not for much longer, that is a little less certain that we'd like, but not too much of a worry.........................
Willow was a baby, now she's a toddler who throws saucepan lids, and blows kisses to the lady behind the boots counter...............................
I was in my 20s, now i'm firmly in the land of 30's, a little unsure how to dress this summer...........................
I ate cake for breakfast more often than is advisable, so now weigh more than i'd like to.........................
I planted bulbs in december, now there are beautiful flowers....................................
The chancellor made a new budget, a few of us are worse off, but essentially life still just ticks along......................
These are my chewings, my thinkings.
And this is a pig, a huge ugly pig. But I thought he looked strangely cute, a deserved his snout to be published.
Week in Pictures
.........well last week really. The Little tyke and I made a last minute visit to see my parents for the weekend, so have been a bit far away from a computer.
Some of these are on Facebook, so apologise for the repetition. But it is what it says, my week in pictures.
Some of these are on Facebook, so apologise for the repetition. But it is what it says, my week in pictures.
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Ten on Tuesday
1. The Little Tyke has started saying 'Mummy' she said 'Mum' a long while a go, but she has finally said Mummy. Made my week/month/year.
2. Other cute words this week are hummis (humous), Bee and Mouse. So very sweet, she says these ones in a cutesie high girly toddler voice. Really does take me a back every time she says them - I kind of thought the english language would be too hard for her to learn ! Yes I know every other kids learns words, but when it's your own little creation coming out with them, it's just an amazing thing.
3. We went to the beach on Mothers day, managed to find a lovely patch of beach not too far from where we live, where you can park right on the prom, which means I can actually get to the sand. We went there last year on Mothers day too, feels like it could be a little tradition in the making. Tasty chips from the van, nice cup of tea in a polystyrene cup - bliss.
The last few weeks have been tough, and the breeze and sea views blew some of the cobwebs away.
4. I have found myself watching lots of programmes on BBC2 lately, add that to my radio4 listening habit, and I am worried that I am ageing prematurely. I like to balance it with a bit of 'hippidy hoppidy' music ( as husbando calls it ) every so often, and still shop in topshop from time to time, so hopefully that balances things out a little ............ ?! #slighltydisillusioned
5. I have resided myself to the fact that unless I do some serious exercise, and stop eating cake for breakfast, my belly will always be .........just a little bit fat. Yes I know I'm not a 'large lady' but when you've been a skinny minnie for most of your life, well, a spare tyre does feel a bit like it shouldn't be there. Don't feel as cold now though, fat is a great insulator.
6. I have always really disliked the number 6, and was slightly disappointed that we got married in 2006. Just thought i'd share.
7. Do you ever do your weekly shop and just want to buy something you don't usually buy? This week I bought a pie. We'r not really a meat pie kind of family, partly cos I don't do much cooking at the moment, and it's just not something I think of buying, only making. But this week, Mr Sainsburys is making one for me. Delicious. It's nice having others cook for you, even if they are in a factory somewhere far away from my kitchen wearing silly net hats !
8. Little tyke has been playing ..in and out...in and out.... of her new (well quite old, but new to us) playhouse.
It's sat next to our old christmas tree which hasn't quite made it to the tip yet - looks a bit like a weird scandinavian time warp type situation in our garden at present.
9. Picked up a Bob the builder toy for £5 reduced from £40 - don't mind if I do. 'Bob's surf shack' !
Poor Little Tike did fall off a chair in costa while playing with the above plastic item. She was so engrossed in 'bob' that she quite literally just went head over heals onto the floor. oooops, lack of parental supervision ahoy.
The plastic fantastic builder extraodinaire also served as friday afternoon's entertainment - phew.... didn't make it toddler group this week, so was just what the Dr ordered.
P.S Did you know Bob has a friend called 'Brad Rad' ? He comes with his own surf board and everything ! Who knew.
Linking in with the other Ten on tuesday ladieeees
partyofseven
yeastandwest
thethingsiwanttosayblog
somemothersdoavem
Saturday, 17 March 2012
Week in Pictures
Fairly mundane, 'round the house' kind of shots this week ........... But sometimes that is what a week with a toddler involves !
See if you can spot the photo which was proceeded by me saying ......."come here please Willow"
All correct and present.
Roots and shoots.
Banksy in the making ........ or just scribble on the wall ?
Stranded
Escape
Friday, 16 March 2012
Weeds, Joy? and Mud pies.
There is Joy and there is joy. I hear talk of Joy which can't be taken away by circumstance, but sometimes, these days I struggle to actually experience it.
This week has been a little 'clogged up' with the weeds which come with life, and wrap themselves around what was once clean, new and unspoilt.
Longing after my more joyful self, my optimism and hope to come back and visit, stay a while.
Wondering, wondering if that self will come back to visit soon. Please do.
There has been mud pie making which makes me smile, the promise of a new hair cut, and a new pair of sunnies for the season. But all these things are just substitutes for that lovely inner contended feeling. The one I am blessed with most of the time, so when it goes - I feel a part of me is missing.
These things too shall pass I am told. And I do truly believe that 'Joy does come in the morning' I have known it so often. But sometimes the morning takes just a little bit longer to come than we hope for ey?
This week will end, and hopefully the next one will be a bit better.
It's so very humbling feeling weak, afraid and unable to cope. So far from the self I thought I would see in the mirror at this stage of my life.
But no one is exempt from feeling a bit, well crap I guess. We can all put in place a '5 point plan' for 'happiness' and 'health' but these plans don't allow for many things that life on this earth throws at us do they?
I rest in Him, and like the old skool song reminds me, ' He's got the whole world in His hands '
This week has been a little 'clogged up' with the weeds which come with life, and wrap themselves around what was once clean, new and unspoilt.
Longing after my more joyful self, my optimism and hope to come back and visit, stay a while.
Wondering, wondering if that self will come back to visit soon. Please do.
There has been mud pie making which makes me smile, the promise of a new hair cut, and a new pair of sunnies for the season. But all these things are just substitutes for that lovely inner contended feeling. The one I am blessed with most of the time, so when it goes - I feel a part of me is missing.
These things too shall pass I am told. And I do truly believe that 'Joy does come in the morning' I have known it so often. But sometimes the morning takes just a little bit longer to come than we hope for ey?
This week will end, and hopefully the next one will be a bit better.
It's so very humbling feeling weak, afraid and unable to cope. So far from the self I thought I would see in the mirror at this stage of my life.
But no one is exempt from feeling a bit, well crap I guess. We can all put in place a '5 point plan' for 'happiness' and 'health' but these plans don't allow for many things that life on this earth throws at us do they?
I rest in Him, and like the old skool song reminds me, ' He's got the whole world in His hands '
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Ten on Tuesday
So then, a brief Ten, and slightly unimaginative this week. Having just proof read someone's covering letter for a job I know very little about, my brain is mushy !
This week it's all about the girl.....
1. I came into the lounge yesterday to find her playing with this.........
2. She has added to her vocabulary this week 'Bra' 'Fart' and 'Burp' she is able to correctly label both aforementioned bodily noises. Not sure if I should be proud of this or not ? Of course she is at the stage where some of her words are still only recognisable to me, so if she says one in public, chances are that no one will know what she means - phew.
3. She is already displaying a preference to her cake choices. Jamican ginger cake gets the thumbs down......strange child. There isn't much better in my world than Jamican ginger cake.
4. It's weird how kids learn something, do it loads, then don't do it for a while...................... then suddenly, out of nowhere they pick it up again. This week it's waving and saying 'bye bye'. Everyone is getting a wave and bye bye at the moment, sometimes not really at the right time.
5. On a similar topic, blowing kisses, and kisses in general are coming out to play. She blows kisses to people without prompting, taxi drivers, bin men, passers by, shop keepers......cute? or a little socially awkward ? I'll leave you to decide that one.
And as for kissing batteries, yes an actual battery.................. what can I say.
6. Peppa pig, still big news in our house.
7. Sharing, or not, as the case may be ! We have just entered the 'it's mine, so get your hands off ' stage. Mmmmmmmm adds another dimension to playgroup and having friends round. hummph.
8. Sausages, she LOVES them. This morning that was what she wanted for breakfast, that, or cheeeeeese. Sorry love, weetabix is what's on the menu.
9. Wearing Daddy's socks.........latest way to have fun. ( sorry for the blurry photo )
10. And I'll leave you with this, My little tike watering our already waterlogged garden. (This was shortly after she nearly took the head off one of her little friends with a mop handle. )
This week it's all about the girl.....
1. I came into the lounge yesterday to find her playing with this.........
that ikea special you see in most Dr surgeries. She happily played with the beads moving them around as expected. Then, she tried to get IN it, the gaps are maybe 5 inches apart and kind of all swirl around making shapes that a hamster, or maybe a baby rabbit could weave in and out of, but not a toddler.
She was extremely upset that she could get 'in' this toy.
Think this is the weirdest thing she has done so far.
2. She has added to her vocabulary this week 'Bra' 'Fart' and 'Burp' she is able to correctly label both aforementioned bodily noises. Not sure if I should be proud of this or not ? Of course she is at the stage where some of her words are still only recognisable to me, so if she says one in public, chances are that no one will know what she means - phew.
3. She is already displaying a preference to her cake choices. Jamican ginger cake gets the thumbs down......strange child. There isn't much better in my world than Jamican ginger cake.
4. It's weird how kids learn something, do it loads, then don't do it for a while...................... then suddenly, out of nowhere they pick it up again. This week it's waving and saying 'bye bye'. Everyone is getting a wave and bye bye at the moment, sometimes not really at the right time.
5. On a similar topic, blowing kisses, and kisses in general are coming out to play. She blows kisses to people without prompting, taxi drivers, bin men, passers by, shop keepers......cute? or a little socially awkward ? I'll leave you to decide that one.
And as for kissing batteries, yes an actual battery.................. what can I say.
6. Peppa pig, still big news in our house.
7. Sharing, or not, as the case may be ! We have just entered the 'it's mine, so get your hands off ' stage. Mmmmmmmm adds another dimension to playgroup and having friends round. hummph.
8. Sausages, she LOVES them. This morning that was what she wanted for breakfast, that, or cheeeeeese. Sorry love, weetabix is what's on the menu.
9. Wearing Daddy's socks.........latest way to have fun. ( sorry for the blurry photo )
10. And I'll leave you with this, My little tike watering our already waterlogged garden. (This was shortly after she nearly took the head off one of her little friends with a mop handle. )
Sunday, 11 March 2012
That Sunday night feeling
Some days I miss going out to work, leaving the house and doing a job, but a Sunday night is not one of those times.
While Husbando is ironing shirts for the morning, I am sat in my pyjamas and cosy slippers, knowing that in the morning I can slip them right back on if I so wish.
Saturday, 10 March 2012
Today
Sometime life with CFS is fine, other days it really gets me down, and today is one of those days. I'm just a little weary of it all.
We have had a lovely hour or two with some friends today and their little one, I also bought some paint from B+Q ( yes I am one of life's unusual people who actually looks forward to going to B+Q) so I shouldn't really complain, but once our friends left, I crashed a little, not because of them, just because I hadn't rested enough earlier, bla bla bla bla. So once more I took up my place in bed. I hate lying in bed so frequently watching hours upon hours of mindless, MINDLESS tv.
Yes my life is mostly like a rainbow, full of colour and life, I am so very blessed, so much more than I ever hoped for, I really do mean that. But lurking behind the rainbow is a grey cloud of complete exhaustion, physical pain and foggy fatigue, and occasionally the grey cloud covers up my rainbow a little.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I'm hoping for clearer skies.
We have had a lovely hour or two with some friends today and their little one, I also bought some paint from B+Q ( yes I am one of life's unusual people who actually looks forward to going to B+Q) so I shouldn't really complain, but once our friends left, I crashed a little, not because of them, just because I hadn't rested enough earlier, bla bla bla bla. So once more I took up my place in bed. I hate lying in bed so frequently watching hours upon hours of mindless, MINDLESS tv.
Yes my life is mostly like a rainbow, full of colour and life, I am so very blessed, so much more than I ever hoped for, I really do mean that. But lurking behind the rainbow is a grey cloud of complete exhaustion, physical pain and foggy fatigue, and occasionally the grey cloud covers up my rainbow a little.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I'm hoping for clearer skies.
Friday, 9 March 2012
Toddler group
Today was 'toddler group' day. I try to get to one a week, and this one fits us just nicely. It is kind of how toddler groups were about 20 years ago. Well most of them still are, but this one has a particularly vintage feel !
In an old methodist church with parke (sp ?) flooring, old metal chairs with real wood seats, and lovely retired, apron wearing ladies who bring you a cup of tea and smile sweetly.
I do like children's centres, but there is just something very comforting about an old skool toddler group don't you think?
There is toast with lashings of cheap margarine spread over it, the usual toys plastic and wooden, all set out on a old dusty floor. It's all in one room instead of spread over 3, so sitting down is an option as you can see your little un at all times.
And of course, one of these......
Whoever designed this little vehicle really knew what kids like.
My Little tike is now safely tucked up for her lunchtime nap, while I rest my toddler group weary muscles.
In an old methodist church with parke (sp ?) flooring, old metal chairs with real wood seats, and lovely retired, apron wearing ladies who bring you a cup of tea and smile sweetly.
I do like children's centres, but there is just something very comforting about an old skool toddler group don't you think?
There is toast with lashings of cheap margarine spread over it, the usual toys plastic and wooden, all set out on a old dusty floor. It's all in one room instead of spread over 3, so sitting down is an option as you can see your little un at all times.
And of course, one of these......
Whoever designed this little vehicle really knew what kids like.
My Little tike is now safely tucked up for her lunchtime nap, while I rest my toddler group weary muscles.
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Week in pictures
My week in pictures..........washing, chopping, garden appreciation, and toys.
Washing
Garden appreciation
The bits which didn't make the pot
Teddy
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
Ten on Tuesday
Tuesday, ten, on.
1. Willow has gone to bed on a sugar high this lunchtime, loooooooong wait at hospital clinic = chocolate bribe was necessary. She thought it was christmas, and will probably ask to visit the hospital again very soon.
2. Sunshine I have missed you, but please ask your friend 'Mr warm air' if he can come and visit us as well.
3. Birds live in tall trees near our house, very lovely. However very noisy at 4am when trying to sleep.zzzzzzzzzzz
4. I did quite a grown up thing this week, I actually sat down and worked out what clothes Willow would need for spring/summer, how I could maximise the things we have been passed down, and ordered them all, in the correct size. My usual style is to wander into the shops near our house and kind of pick up things which might be half price, Sometimes a false economy and also end up spending more with frequent trips to said retail establishments.
5. Am still very much liking my newly painted lounge wall, now to finish painting the cupboard and persuade husbando to put up the shelves. ( yes I can work a drill and am fairly handy at DIY myself, but the precious energy has to be saved for caring for the little un )
6. In my past life I have dabbled here and there in ceramics type arty stuff. I did it at A-level and took it as a night class thingy a while ago. It's not something you can really do without a kiln etc, but my mum and her friend suggested me finding a cheap second hand one on ebay and putting it in the garage. This my friends, has set my little clay loving fingers plotting.......watch this space.
7. This evening if the brain is focussed enough I am going to venture into the world of what this setting does on my camera !
8. I had a moment of energetic thought the other day, and was looking longingly at my wetsuit, how I would love a holiday near the sea,with a bodyboard in hand. Granted there aren't many waves on this beach, but this was a lovely holiday we had a few years ago.
9. I am a bit of a closet hippy, and love a bit of banjo playing, mandolin tinkling music. My brother is hoping for a Jesson family weekend away to this a folk festival in edale. another plan of mine....I always like to have a plan on the boil.
10. Putin's tears - do we buy them ? ahem, I think it might have been a 'tweezers in the trouser pocket moment' no ? #suspiciousoftherussianleader.
1. Willow has gone to bed on a sugar high this lunchtime, loooooooong wait at hospital clinic = chocolate bribe was necessary. She thought it was christmas, and will probably ask to visit the hospital again very soon.
2. Sunshine I have missed you, but please ask your friend 'Mr warm air' if he can come and visit us as well.
3. Birds live in tall trees near our house, very lovely. However very noisy at 4am when trying to sleep.zzzzzzzzzzz
4. I did quite a grown up thing this week, I actually sat down and worked out what clothes Willow would need for spring/summer, how I could maximise the things we have been passed down, and ordered them all, in the correct size. My usual style is to wander into the shops near our house and kind of pick up things which might be half price, Sometimes a false economy and also end up spending more with frequent trips to said retail establishments.
5. Am still very much liking my newly painted lounge wall, now to finish painting the cupboard and persuade husbando to put up the shelves. ( yes I can work a drill and am fairly handy at DIY myself, but the precious energy has to be saved for caring for the little un )
6. In my past life I have dabbled here and there in ceramics type arty stuff. I did it at A-level and took it as a night class thingy a while ago. It's not something you can really do without a kiln etc, but my mum and her friend suggested me finding a cheap second hand one on ebay and putting it in the garage. This my friends, has set my little clay loving fingers plotting.......watch this space.
7. This evening if the brain is focussed enough I am going to venture into the world of what this setting does on my camera !
8. I had a moment of energetic thought the other day, and was looking longingly at my wetsuit, how I would love a holiday near the sea,with a bodyboard in hand. Granted there aren't many waves on this beach, but this was a lovely holiday we had a few years ago.
9. I am a bit of a closet hippy, and love a bit of banjo playing, mandolin tinkling music. My brother is hoping for a Jesson family weekend away to this a folk festival in edale. another plan of mine....I always like to have a plan on the boil.
10. Putin's tears - do we buy them ? ahem, I think it might have been a 'tweezers in the trouser pocket moment' no ? #suspiciousoftherussianleader.
Linking in with a few other ten on tuesdayers !
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