Sunday, 26 February 2012

Love and Marriage

Marriage, not something I mention much on this here blog. I am hurtling towards our 6th anniversary of getting wed. So I guess, has made me stop and think a little.

We met and married fairly quick, in just over a year, but it kind of felt like we'd always known each other. while at the same time, kind of like we were complete strangers. In some ways our marriage has been a bit different from others, 'in sickness and in health' kind of had real meaning when we made those vows, as I was ill when we tied the knot. And after we got married, my health got worse. I spent most of the first year of our marriage in our flat. Occasionally going out, but missed out on those social occasions that are kind of fun to go to together when you're first married, especially as you get to go home together after. Colin ( the husbando) was, and still is a total legend. At the age of 23 he spent lots of time missing out on what people his age are doing, socialising and going on weekends away and stuff, instead sitting in while I was in bed, often not even up and sitting on the sofa with him. Looking back, it was bleak, really bleak. But that wonderful hazy love kind of got us through.

For us, holidays are tricky, cos if your ill you can't work, so have less money, and places you go on holiday for free or cheap are great if you have energy to go out, walk in the countryside and do things which don't cost much but do require energy. So, well, holidays are my favourite thing as it gets me out of the four walls I am currently residing, but for him, it's just moving somewhere without computer, and things to do while I'm in bed. A bit dull I guess.

But we have had a laugh as well, we have had soooo many picnics in our car cos I'm unable to walk somewhere more picturesque. We've discovered box sets to watch we otherwise wouldn't have.
We did have a brief canoeing holiday a while back, well, I sat in the canoe and he did the paddling. That was lovely and the sun shone too.

But our desire to go skiing together, climb a mountain together are all still there. Maybe one day ?
Our desire ( well more mine that his) to have loads of kids is sadly looking less likely now. We are hugely blessed with one, and another one would be the cherry on the cake. But unless I get fully better, my dream of 4 kidlets is defiantly seeming less and less likely.

Most marriages have their pressures though, if it's not poor health, it's something else. Life is rarely easy for anyone. And I'm learning this more and more. It's so easy to look at people and see that they don't have the struggles you do, but you usually don't have to look too deep, to see they have their battles, they are just different. It's a humbling thing to realise.

Then there are the things which the CFS monster hasn't touched. There is the gripe of the socks on the floor,( the toilet seat thing has never bothered me ) the lovely presents I have received, the forgiveness for stupid things said, and the times when I have looked at the fallen expression when I've said something so cutting, that I wish I could just take back.
And of course the hilarious moments of broken down cars, being locked out of houses, Christmases, Birthdays etc. All the usual things.

 Every couple likes to think they are just a bit unusual, but to be honest, we really aren't. We are fairly run of the mill. We argue a bit, but not lots, we love each other, but annoy each other too.

And after 6 years I look across a room at him and think, 'man you are gorgeous', along with 'man I have lived with you for 6 years, but you still surprise me, and at times shock me too ! '

Marriage, is for a long time isn't it ? For life, what have we done ey  ..............6 years is just the start !


  1. Ahh that's lovely and I can relate to a lot of how you describe your relationship. I have been with my OH for nearly ten years and I am still waiting for him to propose! (He knows I am getting bored of waiting!) I know it's not everything but now we have a little girl together it will be a way of making us into a proper family unit, he also annoys me sometimes as do his dirty socks on the bathroom floor but I love him with all my heart and know that I want to work really hard to stay with him forever. Thanks for linking up to Love All Blogs, Jess x

    1. Thanks Jess. Felt a bit nervous putting the blog on love all blogs as I kind of started writing this without publishing it on internet. But is fun to link in with other people :)