the year endeth....

2011 has been an eventful time,
so i thought i'd write this wee rhyme.


There has been winter, spring and some summer too,
My hair grew lots so i got a new 'do'.
The little tike was a baby and now is a toddler,
Giving me lots of laughs, tears and of course blog fodder.


My garden is growing and taking shape,
A flower bed and veggie patch i did make,
We have holidayed in suffolk, wales and the lakes,
Sitting in cafes, and eating, eating lots of cakes.


I have hopes and dreams for 2012, but most of all I just hope,
That the weeks aren't too hard, and I can manage to cope,
With the fun and trials of being a mum, 
a friend, a wife ( still with a good bum!)


This year i've shed tears for myself and others,
Who have lost sons, friends and brothers.
There is always joy, loss and much more,
I hope i can stay smiling and not become a bore.


I am now going to see the new year in, with an early night,
Why try to stay up late and wait for midnight ?!
So here's to saying 'goodbye' to last year,
It has been an interesting one but i'm glad to see it's rear.

Christmas times and thoughts.

Well, Christmas has been and gone, but it has been good. Really good. There have been the usual cold viruses lingering, but they have been mostly kept in their place with a bit of rest and a lot of night nurse.

Family, it's all about family really isn't it, and I am super fortunate to have a great one. Yes they are loud, and a little stressful at times, but they love me, and I love them. So really, that's all I can ask for. Oh, and they buy me nice presents which helps too !

A few (slightly cheesy) photos

My little family-not very often we get a photo with all of us.....

This picture captures a Christmas moment perfectly, slightly hilarious charade taking place.....

Such mild weather, W and her Gramps enjoying the garden.... cuteness.

As well as riding in wheelbarrows, Little tike has got the hang of unwrapping gifts, It's such a pleasure to see her little face light up as she sees another plastic toy waiting to greet her with noises, sounds, and a general assault on the senses.

I have been thinking quite a lot about Mary this year. Travelling on a donkey of some type while in the end stages of pregnancy can't have been the best really can it ? And why someone didn't give her somewhere better than a stable to stay when in labour, i don't know. Someone in my family did point out to me that in those days people had lots of babies, so it was a bit more normal. But, you know, I still think someone could have swapped rooms with her while she was in labour, I am all for natural childbirth, but in a stable with cattle? i think that is taking things a little far. And maybe the shepherds should have tried to bring a midwife with at least some gas and air and a bit of paracetemol for the after pains ? but no, a sheep. nice one gentlemen.

But Jesus was born, and regardless of how damaged his birth left Mary, he arrived. Well done Mary. Well done God for sending Him. But maybe you could have caused people to discover pain relief and skilful midwifery a few thousand years earlier.........just saying.

Ten on Tuesday

Wow that week has gone super fast..... for me it has been all about shoes, snow and slavery !


1. The little tike has reminded me today of her energetic self, her ability to find things she shouldn't and generally get up to mischief - the week of sitting on the coach watching tv was nice, but she is definitely on the mend now.

2. I fear her obsession with fire may be growing, beginning to regret teaching her to blow out her birthday candle.....pyromaniac in the making ?

3. ...Is the number of converse shoes/boots she now has .....little bit of confused ebay bidding took place this week... ooops. 

4. Her first trip to clarks for her proper 'first shoes' took place this week. Her beautiful Grandma came for the day, and we had a little trip out. It was one of those special times I'll always remember. Being that W's first word other than dad daddy and hiya, was 'shoes' it was kind of enevitable that she would enjoy her trip to clarks. 'shoos, shooe, shooes' she exclaimed as she ran around the shop. Bless her, then she saw the bag with charlie bear on who she calls 'ted' and her little one year old mind nearly blew it's top :)
So clarks is now her new favourite shop, can't wait to introduce to 'office' and Schuh' one day though, cos lets face it, the shoes in there are far nicer !
I was too knackered to have my camera with me, but the memories are firmly etched in my brain.

5. Snow, It made a little appearance last week.

6. This Sunday was our first Christmas party of the season, starting with the in laws annual get together.

Little tike and her Nan who she loves very much. She is one blessed little lady to have so many doting Grandparents.

7. Been thinking a bit more about the whole slavery issue, have been thinking about how when slavery was abolished all those years ago, there would have been so many people who had slaves, who when it became illegal to force people to work for no payment, they wouldn't be able to have afforded the help. So they would have had to go without, which would have been a huge change for many households/farms and businesses. There would been luxuries cut where the help was essential to the business so they had to go without other things. Or there would have been ladies all over the world suddenly needing to learn a skill or two around the house. Just food for thought about all the things we buy which we deem as essential which may be fuelling the slave trade today.




8. Got a bit of birthday money through this week, so have just bought myself a few little treats from Laura Ashley home. The sort of things I would never be able to find in pound stretcher on my weekly budget, so i'm VERY excited. I love a quality household accessory !




9. I think Christmas sometimes brings out the worst in people... don't believe me? Just pop to the tesco near me, drive a car around and see what you think then .......Christmas shopping does bad things to people. talk about impatience. But it can also bring out the comedy side to a shopping trip. ( see previous post )




10. All these lovely gifts ready for the big day.......Don't think W realises that between her and a piece of stripey fabric is a lovely new teddy !

                                                      

Well, happy festivities one and all, see you on the other side.....


Oh yeah, and Jesus was born........... He's the reason for the season !!!

Turkey

So, I just made a brief trip to the supermarket to buy the Christmas Turkey. We ( well, hubster and brother ) are cooking it this year, as I was beginning to feel a little nervous that we wouldn't get one ..... all it would take was a freak blizzard and all the trucks could get stuck, you laugh, but it could happen, and I wasn't being the person responsible for a turkeyless Christmas, heck no.


I step inside the hooooge supermarket, and ask at the customer service desk if the fresh Turkeys were in, as soon as the words left my lips, I knew I was in for a less than straightforward answer.....the guy looked at me blankly, then kind of murmured... ' erm, i'm not sure, but, er, well I think it will be sometime this week' I managed to hold the smile from my face, or at least make it look like a 'thankyou for helping me' smile, not a ' REALLY ? well i never expected that the turkey's would be sold the week running up to Christmas' smile. He then turned to the lady next to him, who was asked the turkey related question... she paused, looked up a bit, in a thoughtful kind of way and said, very seriously, ' I think it will be sometime this week' .......Oh, i am glad I was on my own, or laughter would surely have followed. So I (very politely) said I would just go and have a look, and thanked them for their 'help'.


When I arrived at the chilly isle full of vacuum packed meat, sure enough, there were a few turkeys lurking in the bottom of the chiller. Not being able to find quite the weight I wanted, I asked another unsuspecting shop assistant if he could look for the size I was after in the store cupboard thingy out the back. He very kindly obliged and after a few minutes returned with exactly the same size that was already there, so I said I would just have a look and decide what size to get, just as I thought he had walked off, he proceeded to tell me that, in the store cupboard there were turkeys 'this small' - hands cupped into a small size, and how it was really cruel to kill a baby turkey. I was unsure weather to break the news that killing a baby turkey wasn't really any more cruel than killing a big turkey, when he said ' the little ones have got so much more to live for, the older ones don't mind cos they have had their life'.................... where to start.....?! 'um, well, i'm not sure if these turkeys really have a good life at all, they were probably squashed in a dark barn with lots of other turkeys anyway.' ....... he looked a bit perplexed and said, 'oh, i thought it was just chickens which got treated like that', and so we carried on, having a very lovely chat about the cruelty to animals thing. 
After finally selecting my turkey, which has to be said, is a lot bigger than we need, but I felt I had to buy one and couldn't bear going to another supermarket tomorrow to go through the same process all over again, I dragged it to the checkout, at which point the lady said to me '£40 for a turkey, that's well expensive' !  Not entirely sure their manager would be too pleased with such comments, but all in all, the staff were very friendly, and most definitely amusing.
So despite the fact that our bird hasn't lived a 'happy running around outside kind of life', I wouldn't have had quite such a fun time trying to buy it at the farm shop now would I ....?


Now to fit it in the fridge.......

So, I'm writing this post on husbandos iPhone, under the bedcovers as I'm In bed early with my little tike trying to get her to sleep. She's been puking and coughing so I have taken pitty on her...... A decision I may regret.its hard to be too harsh on her when she's crying a. Dry sad croaky cry. Thinking she was feeling very unwell I decided to get into bed with her to provide comfort and love in her hour of need.... She's not stupid, she is now sat up bouncing around peering over saying 'muuuuum'.... She knows whose in charge ! And it certainly isn't me !

Ten on Tuesday

Yay it's Tuesday again....


1. Festive loveliness encapsulated in one cute pair of slippers....

 2. The little tike has been a bit poorly this week, this is where she has mostly been sitting, peering over the sofa at her beloved 'small potatoes' episodes.....Doesn't she just have the cutest little neck !?

3.A few shots of a view I can see from our sitting room, the sky finally showed it's true blueness for a few hours yesterday ...a welcome change from the dull grey drudgery.

4. I am hoping to take W to her first Christmas party on friday, I will not be making her sit on Santa's knee though, - there is something a little odd about that I think !

5. On the iphoto programme on our computer, there is a setting where you can 'de noise' your photos- wouldn't it be great if you could have one for your mind ? Mine is a very noisy place most of the time.

6. I am hoping to make some gingerbread this week, I even have all the ingredients before I start baking. So for once in my life, if said baking does occur, I may even follow the recipe precisely.

7. I'm not entirely sure what is going on with our position in the 'eurozone', husbando tells me it's very rocky and 'altogether concerning', I cannot bring myself to loose sleep over it , and have decided that if the economy falls apart completely, I will run away and join an amish community somewhere, I think i'd suit one of their head coverings, and imagine I could quite get into quilting. 

8. We have no chimney in our house, bit concerned about how santa will enter our home this year.....maybe he'll need one of these......

9. This week I am thankful for the NHS once more, how many people across the world can drive to their local pharmacy on Sunday, get to see a lovely out of hours Dr who was just as friendly as can be, and walk off with some medication and not have to pay. ( yes I know we pay in tax, but that's another thing altogether, and yes we did have to wait for an hour, but who cares - an hour is nothing in the grand scheme of things)

10. I am a bit sad there won't be a Gavin and Stacey Christmas special this year......

I often wonder what Dor is up to ? you gotta love the foul mouthed, elderly welsh lady !!

Pop over to the brilliant blog apartyofseven to see more 'ten on tuesdays' ! 

 

Teamwork is the way to go....

I love being part of a team, 'Team Deane' my other half calls us, He named us that soon after we met, at our wedding we went out to the 'A team' theme tune. 


But half of our team is often a little bit useless in the practical and physical activity stakes, and can often be found in tears in bed at 8pm, so the other half has to do the rest. He's a legend and just plods along regardless.
I've always loved being on a team, any team really. I love hard work and achieving a task altogether, I miss being able to play my part in equal measure to everyone else. Sitting by and watching just isn't as fun, and definitely less fulfilling. ( unless the task is unravelling tangled up wires - that has to be one of my least favourite things ) I HATE wires. 


Today though, our little team did good. Most of the night was up with our little tike, coughing and sicking and generally crying. As the new day dawned we pulled together, didn't do that 'who is the most tired' thing, (which I defy any parents to say they have never done) and managed 'niceness' all day, both got a daytime kip to top up our sleep levels, and have ended the day ill and tired, but with that nice feeling you get when you know you haven't let to bad stuff beat you ! ......


It's great when it works like that isn't it ? 

A girl can dream......

Lying in bed watching saturday kitchen, and it's only adding to my hankering for being able to cook a 3 course meal for friends, oh, and take a trip to a hot hot beach.


Today i'd like to cook...


A delicious thai mango salad to start ......


Then, think i'd do a tasty lamb tagine


And finish with a lovely Lemon cheesecake with ginger biscuit base. ( Cheescake - LOVE cheesecake - who doesn't ? )

actually salivating looking at this photo.....

Then lets jump on a plane and head to ....  Goa, I am a bit of a beach bum at heart. The thing I love about being on the beach, is it's life at a very simple level. No point in wearing makeup or doing your hair. Sand between your toes, bread and cheese with an ice cream to finish off. Being on the beach brings out the best in me, I feel at home in the waves and am just a bit lazy and don't like to wear shoes or preen myself for hours. Looking good in england takes quite a lot of effort doesn't it ? waging war on the frizzy hair inducing damp air, make up to cover up the sallow skin the winter produces. ......


take me to the beach....


this week i'd like to go to Goa, or Barbados would do......please, thank you.

a serious of unfortunate events

So, I did have a few thoughts to which are slightly more interesting and meaningful than these, but it's been a loooong week and my brain is too tired. So instead,  I shall share my series of unfortnate evens....




On Sunday my phone battery died, and it slowly dawned on me that I actually didn't have a clue where it was, and hadn't seen it for nearly a week. Sure it is in the house somewhere, yes it is stupid that I can't just look for it, but you try living in a 3 story house, with very limited physical energy while looking after a 1yr old and then come back and tell me if it's stupid or not ! ( this is what I have been telling myself all week, just to make myself feel better....)


On Monday......First time in months I had use of our car, but in between unlocking the car, and putting Willow in it I then went to try and drive and the car key had fallen off my keyring so alas i couldn't use the car. And pushchair in there too. Oh and I woke up with a dicky tummy so that made for fun frequent trips to the toilet. 


Then came Tuesday, no huge catastrophes there, largely due to the fact that my very kind friend looks after Willow for me for much of the day, so it's mainly sleeping and tv.......not much can go wrong during those activities.


On Wednesday, Phone still missing,which just makes life inconvenient doesn't it?  Trip to the eye doctor person, was meant to take 1 hr, took 2, Very lovely Dr, but putting eye drops in a 1yr olds eyes is never easy or pleasant for anyone involved. W had to wait for her pupils to dialate so they could see in them or something...so 1 hr of running around the waiting room ensued. When it was all finally over, I'd long missed the taxi I had booked, then had to wait in the hail for another one. Willow fell asleep at the wrong time, so no rest for Mummy. By end of day I was ready to calopse - and did so in bed, shortly after husbando returned home.


Arriving on Thursday,Woke up as exhausted as expected, bored Willow, so thought i'd try to go out to toddler group, got there, lots of noise, and snotty children all in one small space, shortly after arriving it became apparent that W was unusually tired and rosy cheeked, clung to me and moaned, couldn't go home, taxi booked for an hour later, no phone to ring to change it, had to sit it out. Tired crying child, Tired (inwardly crying me) oh and yes I forgot her dummy too. 
Shopping due to be delivered at 8pm, at 9.30pm husband comes upstairs to ask where I thought it had got to, after a few calls realised I hadn't pressed 'checkout' ......so no food for us.


Friday................ not much for breakfast in this house ! But the sun came out inbetween hail storms, so that was a lovely treat in amongst all the catastrophes




Maybe next week will run a little more smoothly......?

Ten on Tuesday

So, I had ten, but then they fell out of my brain somewhere in the midst of changing a nappy and decorating the tree.

So a new ten it will have to be......


1. For once this weekend, all the rooms in our house were semi tidy at the same time.....now that hasn't happened.... ever in this house.( moved in 14 months ago) It felt good, and probably won't happen again for a loooooong time.


2. I am taking on the 'christmas clothes' tradition that exists in liverpool, great excuse to buy willow a cute dress. 


3. This week Willow experienced her first hail storm without the luxury of a rain cover, the rain cover and proper pushchair were locked in the car, I lost the key = wet Willow. Bless her.


4. I've never liked Tesco, but now really don't like it, it's big and brash, but the closest shop to me, so i'm there far more often than I would like. Souless and mass produced blaaaaaaaaaaa. Yes I still buy the vast majority of things we need from there though, so I shall step off my soap box....( for now )




5. There is lots of watering can fascination at the moment..... and yes she did try to drink from it - ew

6. I'm getting very much into the advent readings of this fella called Richard Rohr, he's a Benedictine Monk and has a beautiful approach to Jesus, Spirituality and what it means to walk with God. Just what the dr ordered for advent. ( although a 'Facebook friend' of mine gets Marilyn Munro cigarettes and false eyelashes in her advent calendar so surely that could be a contender?!)




7. This week we watched the bin men from the upstairs window, not the front door. I still felt like a bin man stalker even tho they couldn't see me !




8. I have a beautiful creeper in my garden, which is meant to be dead by this time of year, but it continues to flower.... gotta love a plant's determination

9. I'm trying to implement a 'no computer' sabbath in our house during sunday ( evenings are permitted ) - it's a difficult one..... all my ebay purchases end on that day... But there has to be a break from the WWW doesn't there ?




10. One thing I love to do when energy permits is dig in the garden. I love mud, planting plants, digging out weeds, cold hands, dodging worms, putting in bulbs with the anticipation of spring colour. It's been a while since I've done it, but hoping to get out there soon before the frost sets in.




And as ever, 'ten on tuesday' is hosted by @apartyofseven.... head over to her bloggidy blog blog to see some more..... you might even get a tale of a winter vommiting bug if your lucky....yes she makes puking sound entertaining. 

more thinkings.......

I'm not entirely what prompted me to write this post today, but here it is...


A while back a friend asked me, 'how do you cope with having been ill for so long, and having a baby to look after ' i just answered her, ' I don't always'  - cos sometimes, I don't. I think 'coping ' is overrated. This weekend has been lovely, and in the 'coping' stakes I am doing fairly well at the moment, but that's not always the case, and I don't think it is for anyone, is it ........?


Today I saw a lady who recently lost her beautiful baby daughter. Last week, a friend whose Son has been tragically taken to be with his maker far sooner than she was ready for. Both are going through horrendous berievement. Of course they will spend days when they can't get out of bed, cos the emotional exhuastion of grief is just too much. But there is a need to dialogue on how 'well' they are coping, or if they'r up and about. Now don't get me wrong, most people I know are hugely compassionate in nature, and aren't rushing any of my friends to be running around with smiles on their faces all day, but our culture seems to be all about the coping doesn't it.


When I watch news footage of wailing ladies in a war torn country kneeling around the body of their loved one, lamenting and crying as their emotional agony has nowhere to go, but escape in a heart felt scream. I think I have a lot to learn from them, from their freedom in expression, their complete submersion in the moment they are going through.


So many people in our society suffer depression at some point in their lives, depression is a far too wider term I think, and is very misunderstood, but much of it is suppressed emotion, denied feelings finally coming to the surface. I am determined to do my best to have days where I don't cope, where I do fall apart a little, where the raw emotion of the small difficulties of my life ( because really, they are small when you think of the grand scheme of things) , or the lives of others around me gets to me. It has too, it will only catch up with me eventually.


I have hair dye to cover up my ageing hair, make up to cover my dark circled eyes, a credit loan to cover up my debt, and happy photos on facebook which publicise the happy shots, but neglect to showcase all the moments in between when there are tears, arguments and grumpiness.


We have to choose a safe place for these feeling to come out ofcourse, a meltdown in tescos is never the best place, but I say lets all give up coping quite so much. Have a pj day, cry your heart out once in a while, and for goodness sake don't tell yourself you should be coping if your not !


Coping is overrated.

Falling apart, every now and then I think is what life is all about.

If you go down to the woods today....

........you're sure to find us buying our Christmas tree !

First there was the looking...

 Then there was the selecting...

'Not the Firs Daddy, they drop their pines all over the carpet, a norman Fern is what we need'

Then the transportation.....

 Then Willow had to intervene and 'help'

 Off home, made it in one piece, who needs a roof rack when you have a bit of lino, rope and a foxy husband who can tie any knot in the book.....oh yes, it made it home.....

Then came the decorating....

Festive loveliness......

 A good day was had by all.