Saturday, 8 February 2014

Day trips and birthdays

In a week or two, my littlest Deane, will be One. 

One whole year of pooing, eating, crying and bringing mostly joy into my life. Celebrating his birthday will be a little different from how we celebrated his big sister's. No tea party with other 'baby friends', we are going to keep it just family. One of the things I have always thought about first birthday's,  is that they are more for the parents than the kids, and thats ok. Celebration of a year survived and mostly flourishing. We ( I ) really wanted to go on a family trip to an aquarium. Little tyke, my 3 yr old loves fish and all things aquatic, and little little chap will stare and enjoy most things. I wanted to go on a little trip somewhere, mostly because thats what families do isn't it ? The CFS monster seems to have beem kinder to me over the past few months, so half a day out somewhere is now possible ( woop woop !).

I'm beginning to look at places to go, things we could do, but woooooah it has kind of slapped me in the face how much all these things cost. And if I'm really honest, the reality that we can't afford to be a family which frequently goes to places like this, has kind of hit me hard. Its a weird thing, because I grew up in a family in the 80s, with four little people in it, and like most other families then, going to the zoo/aquarium/fairground etc was a rare thing. A countryside walk was our entertainment and we loved it. But I guess now, these things are more common place, and I have suprised myself at how much I want my kids to go places just like other kids do.

I know in my 'knower' that at the ages of 1 and 3, a trip to a park and an ice cream is going to bring them much joy and delight, I know that when we go camping in May, running around a field in the long grass, will be the thing they remember - Not that we didn't go to an Aquarium or Zoo on their birthdays, but it's still there, nagging in my mind, that I want them to ..…do….enjoy…..experience.
We really are pack animals us humans aren't we ? We like to do what other people are doing, And I am no exception!

We have a season pass to a safari park which is near our home, and my kids have an abundance of toys, friends and fun makers in their lives. They really do lack nothing, but I am much more content about the fact that I will probably buy most of my clothes secondhand for the foreseeable future….than I feel about my kids missing out on something. 
We have a lovely house, filled with beautiful things, have more clothes than we need........and are constantly amazed at how people help us out to enable us to pay for things to make our lives easier while my health isn't great.

But where my kids are concerned I want them to have it all.

Not sure if this feeling will ever go, but for now I want to admit it's there, and not bankrupt us in the persuit of fulfilling it !


  1. Yey, you survived the first year with two little ones, that is definitely worth celebrating. Love is much more important than expensive outings, they will grow up with a much better appreciation of the value of money I'm sure. And luckily the wonderful outdoors usually comes for free! I admire how well you cope with juggling motherhood with the CFS monster, much better than I am at the moment. I wondered if you would mind if I contacted you privately? Would be great to chat to someone in a similar position to me. Not sure how to do that though without sharing my email address with the World Wide Web! Is there a private message option on this blog? I obviously wouldn't want to take up too much of your time though, I know how precious your energy is! And of course I will completely understand if you would rather not.

    1. Hi Michelle, sorry I have been slow in replying to this lovely message. I have been rather neglectful of the blog the past few weeks. Yes, do get in touch.
      Would be lovely to chat a bit !

  2. Wow, the year has gone fast, one already!!!
    You are not alone in your wanting to give your child everything dilemma...familiar feeling. It's at times difficult to remember that it's the being together that the kids will remember more than what you do.

    1. Thanks ! yes it is difficult to remember it, but we need to keep trying I guess ! Or we ( I ) will be eaten away with parenting guilt, which isn't the best use of life as a parent is it ?!
      Thanks for dropping by, hope you and your littlies are well ? I am still in debt to you one photo of my fridge - I totally forget :/