Ten on a chilly Tuesday

This past few weeks, the cfs monster has retreated a little, just a little, but enough to make life a WHOLE lot more pleasant and enjoyable. I'm fairly sure this sadly won't last, something will come along and tip the oh so hard to achieve, rest/activity balance that it demands. But it has been a nice week having a little bit more energy. I have enjoyed a few things, and am devoting my ten on tuesday to listing them. Yes I know this is a little un interesting, but head over to the other ladies 'ten's' for a more interesting ten ! .......they are on fire this week :) 


1. Definitely my most pleasing thing to be able to do.....Picking up washing off the floor and depositing it in the correct place, either draws or washing basket. This brings me great pleasure. I love a tidy house. Not super tidy, don't get me wrong, but just 'most things in the place they should be' tidy, or even in the correct room will do me.




2. Folding clean washing. Generally clean clothes once dried stay in a large pile somewhere unfolded and are used as needed before they get to the draws. I hate this, but don't have much option normally. This week however there has been folding and some measure of putting away. Bliss

3. Sweeping the floor of food after 'toddler throwing lunch times' on the same day of it happening.


4. Drying all of my hair, not just the front bits.


5. Walking a short distance and being able to come straight home not rest and wait a while til have the energy to return.


6. Going up to rest in bed at 9.30pm not 7. 


7. Reading a book not just an magazine.


8. Chatting to a friend without feeling exhausted afterwards.


9. Wiping things ! Kitchen surfaces, window sills, coffee tables. I like a clean surface me.


10. Had a meal with family at the weekend. We actually made it, I can't tell you how many family gatherings, events and parties I have missed in the last 8 years due to the monster and his dirty tricks ! I made it to leeds, had a lovely time chatting, came home. nice.


Having read these, I realise they are largely house work based which is a bit sad really, but there would need to be a fair bit more energy to enable a more 'exciting list' he he, and to be honest maybe a different stage of life. I like this stage of life, I know for some it is immensely frustrating doing the mundane chores of mothering, But this week being able to do them is a lovely novelty for me. I am happy in my house, with more energy. Playing with my girl, not just hankering to go to bed a rest my achy bones. I sometimes worry I have lost all ambition and drive, but then I see my girl trying to build a tower, saying words, and generally being a 17 month old, and I feel contended and hugely blessed.


Head on and see some more if you liked these .....


partyofseven


somemothersdoaveem


yeastandwest

Tagged: What's on your iPod

I have been 'tagged' ( how very '2012' !), by the blogging mumma superstar type lady Sarah @ Partyofseven. On 'What's on your iPod' feature I guess you might call it. I have been instructed to 'shuffle' and see what comes up first.


I would like to give her a special thanks as I have FINALLY learnt how to 'embed' a youtube clip.Yes I know, I have arrived at new blogging dizzy heights......


So here goes with a quick 'shuffle'........


I felt nervous, cos it's not great to look like a total looser on things like this really, and also you don't want to look too good, like you might have cheated.




First up, Adele from her album 19 with 'Tired'


(Check out adele pre fake lashes)








Black eyed peas 'If you want love'






Lauryn Hill 'doo wop' this is one of my favourite tunes of all time and I never tire of it.




Slightly random one, it's from the soundtrack 'Ocean's twelve ' and I think it's the bit where they are setting up the heist in Vegas. (The good bit of the song kicks in about half way through btw)





Blues Legend "muddy waters' singing his self named tune.




So there you go. Could have been worse I guess.

God on Mute

 God on Mute' is a book I am currently reading. I've been meaning to pick it up and consume it's wisdom for some time now, and last month I finally made it. It's a book I feel could have been written for me. Of course it wasn't, and reading a book like this only reminds me that 'some of us, are like the rest of us' in our doubts confusion, despair and endless questions.


One of my friends lent it to me, a friend who is what my mum would call, one of life's 'steady eddies', often a source of wisdom, support and guidance to me, and also a lender of books, this is by far the best of her lendings.


In a nutshell it's an in depth look at prayer, mostly the grey cloud of unanswered prayer, and healing.


Having been a Christian for a rather loooooong time, I have come across various schools of thought about the 'why does God not always answer prayers' questions. To be honest, a lot of other people's thoughts on this topic have never quite sat right with me. But it's kind of hard sometimes to go against the grain and say, 'what ARE you talking about?' when it's someone who is, well, a lot more 'in the know' about theology and the bible. Being a lady who often just reads a psalm to get her through the day, I have always presumed that maybe I was the only one who didn't really think that God would answer ALL of our prayers, in the way we asked. 


I have wondered for a while why God hasn't healed me, and many other people I know. Then, halfway through writing this post I discover that my brother had prayed for me at a healing service last Sunday when I had a bad throat, these episodes usually last for weeks,sometimes months, and I was astounded that I felt better on Monday. Only yesterday do I discover that his prayers seems to have caused a lovely little bit of healing for me. It's great. But confusing that God healed my sore throat but not the bigger problem. This leaves me so very thankful, but also just a little bit more, well, convinced that we just don't really know why God does what He does, when He does, but that He does care for us deeply.


God is good, but He does let bad things happen, and that confuses me too, and always will. But I'm ok with that. People who say that the bible doesn't contradict itself clearly haven't read the same one as me. But I can cope with a confusing contradiction or two. I don't feel the need to squash my belief and faith in God into nice neatly labelled boxes. The life that God has given me, here on this earth is painful, sad and hard quite a lot of the time. Not just because I have CFS, that is hard, but there are worse things. But because of the pain my friends go through too, and when you have good friends, you go through it together don't you ? And as I notch up years on this earth, I become more aware that, well there are a whole load more unpleasant and hard to handle things which my family will probably encounter before our days on this earth are over. I want to walk with God through them, not just keep wishing they weren't happening.


I am learning not to fear suffering. Why? because I can find God in it. I don't always have to be eager to run to the end and see it go, healed, removed, whatever we call it. But sit in the pain for a while. Just like when I go out and do some gardening I like to have muddy hands for maybe a bit longer than is necessary.


This is a rambling post, the book 'God on Mute' however is not. It address the big questions around unanswered prayer and suffering, provides a teaspoon of theology, and a big old ladle of hope, hope for those in the mud, the waiting for something to change, to get better.


Heaven is where it will 'all come up millhouse' as the famous yellow guy says. I look forward to heaven, often. Not because I don't want to live anymore, but because that is where we get to really live, to live in the painfree, grief free, life filled bodies we were made to have.


Obviously I recommend you read it yourself,

Week in pictures

This weeks offerings, mostly out and about. 

If you click on the first image you can view them as a slideshow type thing.

First crocus of the year

Animals, animals, wet and dry........

Pointing pointing

 Learning to drive

'Me and my shadow...'

Tent time

A hat princess beatrice would be envious of ?

Check out some real photographer's 'week in pictures' from around the globe here. I love the chicken crossing the road, and the tuba in the tree is pretty great, wouldn't see that down my street.

ten on tuesday

Flying in with a quick 10 - 2 = 8.......... Bit of a sick bay in our house today, so slightly brain dead.

1.  My lovely Mum and Dad came over on Friday for a visit. After lunch I heard from upstairs much laughter and 'how do you work your camera' from my Mum. After a brief tutorial through the floorboards, and a exclamation of 'oh I haven't taken the lens cap off' this was the result. 

Here she is, happy with her Grandma, teddies and beloved 'baaw' ( ball to you and I) Check out the bottom photo, ignore if you will the half closed eyes and look at the pose on her. The way she's sitting could be in a catalogue ...... !

 

  

2. This week I haven't listened to any news and generally have no idea what is going on the world. It makes me feel a little like a clueless mummy, but have to say it is quite nice to have a break from being concerned about the state of our world, for just one week anyway.


3. Little tike found her door bouncer in the cupboard, and was quite insistent that she went in it. Not really intended for a 16 month old, but hey she seemed to enjoy it.

4. My attempts to go cold turkey on the trips to the shop or buying things isn't going too well ! Birthdays need buying for, and the internet is just very tempting for browsing....mmmmmmm not quite the consumer detox I need really. 


5. We have a little tradition of a trip to costa over the road on a monday morning. Normally waving at the pensioners is how she likes to roll, but my purse was much more exciting this week.

6. Is winter over yet ? please please can it be.

7. I was listening to a bible podcast this Saturday, the bit where John the baptist has his head cut off cos some lady wants it on a plate. Now, correct me if i'm wrong but what an odd way for a man like him to die. Someone who was kind of born with a sign on him, saying 'I'm preparing the way for the messiah' and all that. In bible terms pretty important, and then his life ends because of some crazy ladies' whim. God confuses me sometimes, in fact a lot of the time actually. Yes He is great and awesome, but definitely has some unusual things happen on His watch.

8. Recently re discovered pies, meat pies. There is something so nice about a meat pie with a good shortcrust pasty mmmmmmmmm delish.

Linking in with the other '10 on Tuesday' gang.

yeastandwest

apartyofseven

somemothersdoavem.blogspot.com

The discipline conundrum

The difference between looking after someone else's child and caring for your own are numerous. But one of this biggest differences; if they turn out to be a bit of a brat............it's kind of your fault.


This dawned on me a few months ago. The time has come where my sedentary cute baby has become a toddler with her own will and desires. And that looming question has arrived, the 'how do we discipline this child without totally screwing her up' question.


There are many schools of thoughts out there, the 'talk to them about it til your both tired and they are already thinking about the train set they can see out the corner of their eye, rather than listening to you' theory.( yeah can you tell i'm not a huge fan of this one) The 'smack them' theory, ( kind of a bit unsure about this) and the kind of ignore all 'negative behaviour' but just reward the good stuff.( not a fan of this one either) Most people I know fall into the bit in the middle of all of these, imagine if you will a 'venn diagram' and that bit in the middle where they all overlap. 


I don't know what I think yet, but I'm realising that I need to get my head round it pretty quick, cos soon she'll be 5 and by then, well you've kind of done the damage haven't you ?!


What I do know, is that I think I'll be doing her a discredit if I bring her up thinking she is the centre of our family, and any other communities she finds herself part of, cos she's not and nobody will treat her that way, so, well, she'll be one frustrated and unhappy little girl. I also know, that as a very strong willed person myself, if my parents hadn't been fairly heavy handed with the old discipline, I would probably be a bit of a bitch. 


So as you can tell I haven't really reached much of a conclusion. I do know that when she throws her food on the floor, (well she flings it really) that it REALLY annoys me, but is it a 'disciplinable offence' I change my mind on this one regularly. So I've already fallen at the consistency hurdle haven't I ? Ho hum.


I do also know that I think hitting another person seems like an awfully unpleasant way of behaving. But then is 'smacking' different. Is is all about the intent behind it ? rather than the act itself ?


I am very pleased there are people who have devoted their careers to thinking about these things, and I find their books helpful, but, well, I can't leave it all to them, cos they're not the one responsible for my little beauty, I am.


So here end my musings on this topic for today, hoping that tomorrow will bring a little more insight as i tread carefully along the tightrope that is bringing up another person.












Just a little footnote, I am very much in a team at all this with my lovely Husbando on these issues, but it's easier to write it as 'I'. And to be honest, right now he's playing a star wars game on his computer, and not thinking about such things !

Peppa love

Just looking through some photos, and stumbled across this. Even with the hideous plastic dummy, I love this photo.