A chilly day

On my birthday just before Christmas, we popped along to a nearby National Trust haunt.

It was one of those delightfully crisp, and chilly  winters day.

Trips out like this are what I live for really, It sounds trite, but it's the sum total of all I love about life, being out in God's amazing creation, with my beautiful family. 

Three little pegs....

(Well, they are actually nails, as that's what I had to hand when the urge took me to put them there )

I have always, since I can remember, wanted to be a Mum. I enjoy being around children, painting, talking about nonsense and playing. To have my own children, has always been a part of what I wanted to do with my life. I feel unbelievable pleased that it has happened, to me.

In spite of the difficulty of having CFS, most of the time, I love being a Mum. I like having a house full of toys, I like painty finger marks on the walls, I like that half of our kitchen is an art easel and a jumperoo, I like that we go to the park at the weekend, I like baking cupcakes, I like creating things out of playdough. I like choosing my kid's clothes, I like planning fun things to do together, I like playgroups, I like lying on the floor rolling around for no particular reason. I like having a bubble bath with a child in it, and lots of toys.

Now, hear me out here, if you read my blog regularly you will know, that I have my days, days of exhaustion, despair and that overwhelming urge, NOT to be the Mummy.....just for a few days. There is a very good trend at the moment in the blogging world, around writing honest posts about parenting, which is wonderful, a HUGE breath of fresh air, any war on this crazy comparison in parenting is worth fighting.

But for today, I wanted to share the things I love about it, as there are many.

The other day I knocked these three nails into the wall, and hung my kids cute things on them, in our hallway, for all to see. It makes my heart happy when I walk down the stairs and see them, hanging there, waiting patiently til they will next be required to shield a child from the rain, or make a 6 month old cosy and warm. I love having a house full of hussle and bussle and craziness, wellies strewn, ( although little tyke is learning to put her shoes on the rack pretty well these days ! ) buckets of sand in places they shouldn't really be, and sitting down to watch some tv, after the kids are asleep in a room full of toys.
Would I still enjoy this stage if I was in it for the rest of my life, probably not, but right now, I refuse to wish it away.

I am thankful for every painty hand print.

( not to mention the money to pay the cleaner to wipe them away ! )

The Week

This week has been the first of five when the husbando is off work. We decided to make a bit of a schedule for the week, so I got enough rest, and he knew what was happening when. We have learned from a few bad holiday times, that this is a good recipe for our family.

I am so contended right now. Tired, but not totally exhausted, which is preferable.
Husbando tends to do the nights with our newest member, and I spend most afternoons in bed, this means we can usually do something for a few hours altogether in the morning.

Wonderful.

Today was a trip to a museum. The day had a bumpy start, all very happy, we just realised our little tyke had made it to the train station - sans underwear. With a flowing dress on, we soon realised what had occurred, and Daddy had to hot step it back home to bring knickers ! I have to confess I was vaguely aware that she might not have underwear on, but kept on forgetting and then kind of just hoped I would have some in the change bag somewhere. ( she also had her dress on back to front - that was much more easily remedied )

When all Deane family members were suitable clad with underwear, we boarded the train and made our way to the city centre, the journey was a happy one, LT kept all adults within close proximity amused, with her commentary on the journey, and every so often shouting down the train to Daddy ( who was standing with the pushchair ) 'ARE YOU ALRIGHT DOWN THERE DADDY?'  She just about falls into the category of being young and cute enough to get away with such behaviour.....in a few months, it will just seem annoying.

I was fairly pleased to hot step it around the museum at a 2 year olds concentration pace, not being a huge fan of museums, and my energy reserves flashing on dangerously low, a quick look at the aquarium and a few dinosaur fossils ticked our 'been to the museum' box nicely. We had a cafe pit stop, then loaded up our pushchair/wagon of children and junk and off we went, back to the station to make our way home, on a very hot sweaty train.

The deed was done, we just about made it home. I collapsed into bed, spent, but happy.

When living with the CFS monster, it's unpredictability can be hard to cope with. On days like today when it allows us to do what feels like a normal family morning, I am one happy lady.

So glad we made it

After a week of staying at home being unwell, we managed to drag ourselves out on Saturday. It felt good to dust off the cobwebs and do something different from the daily grind.

Where we live there is a big ferris wheel type thing, a bit like the London eye, but not as big, so we like to refer to it as the 'Liverpool squint'. 

It's been around for years now but we have never been on it, but we finally made it.

Here we are posing for the camera !

Lunch out afterwards at the dockside.....lovelyness.

Couldn't resist adding this one is, little squash riding shotgun next to his Daddy.

I should probably add that I don't think I took most of these photos as was kind of sharing the camera with my kind of brother in law ( he isn't technically, but I think of him that way )

The sun doth shine.

My Little squishy squash has reached the ripe old age of 10 weeks. I am going to cling to that cliche which every parent holds dear....'it goes so quickly', and it really does. I am really enjoying him, his cute smiles, and snuggly cuddles when all snuggled up ready for bed....... aaaaahhhhhhh

The past few weeks have been a bit of a juggling act trying to make sure Little Tyke is happy, Little Squash is eating and napping sufficiently to prevent total bedtime overstimulation meltdown, and me getting enough rest to remain upright for as long as required. Most of these things have just about worked out okay, although the naps for the little guy haven't quite happened as planned. I am not a rigid routine kind of Mum, when LT was little I just kind of followed her cues of when she was tired or hungry and created a routine around that, but with our second bundle of loveliness it seems a little harder to remember what they want, when, while trying to build a train set at the same time. 
So I decided to create some kind of routine and wrote it down, and hey presto he's a happier baby, so that's nice ! 

It's better when things work out as you would like them to isn't it ?

The glorious thing which is the great British bank holiday graced us with it's presence this weekend, and the sun came out too - for those of you non UK residents reading this, let me tell you this was nothing short of a miracle. The weather has been really bleak, I mean really really bleak, so the sun coming out on a three day weekend was nothing short of a miracle. 

I spent most of the weekend recovering from the few days of child juggling, so that was a bit of a pain to be in bed when I wanted to be outside, but by monday I summoned the energy to emerge into the sunshine, dust off my sunglasses and head to the beach for a brief, but oh so refreshing, trip out.

Sandcastles were made

Water was collected from the sea......for that so very fruitless task of attempting to put a moat around the castle.....the sand it doth absorb too much !

We were home by midday and all had a glorious afternoon sleep, just what the Dr ordered. 

Fun times......

The past week I have had a little more energy, so have been able to play with Little Tyke a bit more and generally be out of bed ( albeit lying on the sofa ) and pottering around the house.

It's been great, as these are our last few weeks with just me, her and him. So have enjoyed a few moments of just reflecting and enjoying this stage we've had as a three, while at the same time, anticipating the arrival of our boy who will make us a four.

A few snapshots of the nice things we've done......

This my friends is a picnic, apparently the one on the left, squashed into the ground is Daddy having a sleep......NEVER SLEEP in the presence of my daughter, she may squash you into the ground and say 'SLEEPING'

Apparently this is a boat, she suddenly insisted that she needed a spoon........I think it was doubling as a paddle...... a 2 year old's imagination is an amazing place :)

Tonight Husbando broke down on the way home from work, thankfully a lovely friend popped over in that slot of 'awake from nap time ,but Daddy's not home yet ' time, which is usually my worst time of day, she also cooked us some tea ( yes I do have amazing friends ). However LT didn't want the curry, so I decided on a tea which she would enjoy and would eat....... this is what it was.....humous and cucumber, then topped with some breadsticks which she proceeded to dip in a yoghurt. There was also a small orange which was split into segments and then kind of 'mixed' in with the rest of the food.

 Gross ? most definitely. Nutritious ? - fairly. Kept her happy for twenty minutes ? Check. A peaceful teatime ? oh yes indeed !

We had a fun teatime, and afterwards listened to Stevie Wonder LOUD, while LT bounced on our bed.

And lastly, my Mum came to visit last week. Normally when she is here I tend to have a long bath, some extra sleep and then lie on the sofa while she cooks or amuses LT, but last week we made it out for a little bite of lunch. Such a special time, with Mum and Daughter. There is something special about being out with my Mum, and my girl with her Mum, it just feels complete. 

I am blessed to have my Mum alive and well. 

........awaiting sausage sandwiches and paninis ......... yum.

A few weeks in pictures

A few photos of the weeks gone by........

Out and about

Painting with Mummy 

And perhaps my favourite shot of the weeks gone by....... 

Precious moments

There are lots of precious moments when bringing up small children. 

Here are a few of those precious moments we shared last weekend.....

Time with my Grandparents who I love very much, and who love us all very much right back.

They have 14 Great Grandchildren but greeted Willow as if she was the only one. They are wonderful people and we are truly blessed to have them in our lives.

Ten on Tuesday

This week is a picturey birthday-ey Ten.

There has been a distinct lack of cropping or editing of these birthday snap shots. I have had a bad ass headache on and off for ten days, and the screen time isn't helping.....so here they are, rough and ready. Just like her birthday celebrations, cake and weekend were. Perfect for a 2 year old who doesn't know any different ! 

Cakey cake

 Lovely Grandma

 'Oooooh what's inside'

 Very pleased with her new table

 Her favourite part of birthdays....Balloons !

 Fairy birthday girl

 Bit of 'end of party come down' with an episode of peppa.

The morning after, she woke as a Ladybird.

 Birthday take two......MORE PRESENTS !

Post birthday clear-up-  this was after we'd tidied up, well I say 'we' what I mean is my lovely parents and Husbando.

A camera kind of day

Woke today, and realised my poor camera has been somewhat neglected lately. Just been too sicky to manage to take any photos, but I now have the battery on charge, and am hoping for a few rays of sunshine later, a little trip to somewhere pretty and some pics shall be snappy snap snapped.

Hoping to return to 'Week in pictures' this week, so watch this space :)

I'm really not great at using all the settings on my camera, I do now know how to work it ( only took me 2 years to figure out ! ), but the time to practise is limited. I cut my teeth taking photos in the 80s on my Dad's old school SLR, I got a lense for my ninth birthday, which I guess is a little sad really, but I loved using it. I have to say I do struggle a bit with all the post shot editing which goes on, cos photos do look better with a little tweaking, but for me I love seeing a photo and taking it, and the faffing about on a computer isn't my favourite part of the creative process of taking photos. So while I know I'd get better images with a bit of photoshopping, right now I can't really be bothered. Yes that sounds lazy, but there we have it. One day I shall get on board a bit more with such things, but at present just a few pretty shots with a tiny bit of iPhoto tweaking shall have to do !

I have the sometimes annoying affliction of having a fairly creative eye, so I fall into the 'consciously incompetent' when it comes to photography. I tend to know when a photo looks 'good' or not, but If I waited to post 'good photos' on this blog then I just never would, and at present am not good enough with my camera to take show stopping images. 

Just returned from our trip to the park, here is my girl chasing uninhibited, after the bubbles. Beautiful day, lovely moment with my little family. My life is rich in so many ways, and this moment captures that perfectly.

Attempting re entry

This week we are attempting 're entry' into our usual weekly routine. DaddyDeano back at work and all the usual childcare, playgroups and sitting with just my Little Tyke and I at home are back underway.

So far, it's been a lovely week. Helped by two factors, one; although still sick, I am slightly less exhausted than I have been for most of the summer, that 16 week phase seems to have arrived with a teeny bit more energy in the tank - phew. Secondly, the sun has been out, how lovely, there is something soothing about september sun isn't there ? Not only does it feel like a bonus, but it's lower in the sky and heralds the arrival of Autumn loveliness. 

Today I decided to take the bull by the horns and go to playgroup. Thursday morning playgroup can be at times, like taking your life in your hands. Set in a local children's centre, with low ceilings and YEAR ROUND heating on FULL, it can be like entering a den of germs, heat and noise. But today there was a lovely breeze, and we were only joined by about six other parents and their little darlings, so it was relatively tranquil......phew. We've spent most of the week at home albeit with some very lovely visitors, so LT was getting a little bored of the same old toys. The only shadow looming over our lovely morning, was one very loud boisterous 3 year old boy banging a drum REALLY REALLY hard, his mum was on the phone ( I have a soft spot for her despite most other mum's not liking her ) so for some reason had enough patience to quietly suggest to said child that maybe he could be a little quieter. (This pregnancy seems to have bought with it nearly constant headaches, so one can do without too much banging of drums ! )

The other unfortunate occurrence was when one of the sure start staff who we have known intermittently since LT was about 6 months turned up, said 'hello' to her. She quivered with fright and ran into my arms crying, looking genuinely terrified. Not quite sure what to make of that, or why she was so bothered, but it was a little bit of a shame for all involved.


Hoping the next 6 weeks will be like this one.

Holiday times

Having finally got through the pile of 'crap in the hallway' I have had a chance to sit down and look through a few holiday pics. We really did have a lovely holiday, and it was all I'd hoped it would be. Just a simple time with our little family, and a few friends who joined us for a long weekend. Simple holidays with little ones are definitely the way to go.

I took this photo on a day when the forecast was awful, it proceeded a bad night sleep as it was SO windy the caravan felt like it was about to roll down a hill. The husbando I had slightly lost the will to sit on a windy beach again, so we headed to a National trust property with our shiny new members car sticker. I have to say, when we got there out little hearts sank as we pulled up to the car park, having chosen this place as it said it had a great children's playground, only to see a few planks of wood which even an energetic 8 year old might struggle to 'play' on. We almost gave up and conceded that we would have to spend a small fortune and go to the 'sea zoo' next door, when thankfully we realised that this was in fact just a little park and the main even was hidden in the depth of a beautiful woodland. Phew. It was one of those days where it takes all your effort to have a 'nice time', not argue and make the best of the british weather. 

Thankfully the National trust didn't disappoint, and I even got a ride in the disabled golf buggy back up the hill to the carpark....hanging out where the oldies do is the way forward sometimes !!

I love love love bodyboarding and swimming in the sea, however cold, I will usually give it a try. It's kind of like a magnet pulling me in, and I have on many occasions been known to just jump in regardless of the presence of a towel or swimsuit. Clearly having CFS kind of curtails such activities, but part of the reason I chose our holidaying location is we can easily park near the sea, and the beach was near enough the campsite to just pop down for an hour. So, after a lovely long lunchtime sleep, I took my little girl into the water, mostly just for a splash around and a sit in the waves, but I had my moment, to sit feel the waves crash over me, breathe in the sea air, look at the hills in the distance and feel very thankful to God for little opportunities like these. I am learning to focus on these little achievements, not just look over at the bodyboarders and windsurfers wishing I was joining in with them. My day will come. ( Kite surfing however, isn't an ambition of mine, that just looks like slightly dangerous, very hard work !)

Playing in the sand while Daddy did a spot of kayaking.

Sand, and seaweed. So beautiful.

Dig dig dig, just before the clouds set in and 4 adults and 1 toddler squashed into a teeny tiny tent to hide from the downpour - there was no room to move the arms to take a photo, but it was very amusing!