tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19605273254376013382024-03-20T01:10:27.591-07:00MamaDeanoMusingsThinkings, family life and living with CFSmamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.comBlogger234125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-51426328964070606872015-09-07T03:11:00.001-07:002015-09-08T03:15:46.998-07:00A little hello. <span style="font-size: large;">A few weeks ago, a good friend asked me why I hadn't been blogging recently. I had to think about why. Perhaps a mixture of being up and about a bit more, but then when I have rest time, I need to sleep to recover in order to do the next block of 'activity'. There is also the fact that I waste/use up hours on Facebook, and recently have been getting stuck down the rabbit warren that is Twitter. But also, I have been reading some brilliant and challenging blogs I stumble across, and finding that what I would 'say' has already been said, so then I don't bother. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The last 8 months or so, have mostly been lovely. Really really lovely. My two little ones are growing and developing in a way which I feel so grateful for. They are healthy and strong, have fun and amazing opportunities presented to them weekly to explore and learn, it's every parent's dream really, isn't it ? It sometimes takes my breath away when I watch them, and know how safe they are, and how much education awaits them, such a contrast to the images I see regularly on twitter of families fleeing, surviving, and dying. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The juxtapose of my life, and what I see on social media is a head wrecker most of the time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I find, as I am emerging out of the 'baby stage' and on the slow road to both my kids being in some kind of education/nursery, It raises loads of emotion for me. The questions all mums have of 'what will I do now' or 'great, I can do what I'm already doing but not have to pay for childcare' etc etc. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I think for me, it raises some disappointment and sadness. The lack of career is a tough one. My degree sits largely unused. Today both my kids are being looked after by others so I can rest, sleep and have enough of a breather to be able to function as I need to. Today, that reality feels sad. Other days, I feel nothing of that sadness, but instead the joy every mum feels of a quiet house for a few hours in amongst the chaos of life with a 2 and 4 year old. ( My 2 year old is getting louder - he is LOUD )</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I think it's all about feeling I don't have a place, or fit in somewhere. Although my experience of having small children has varied lots from my peers, I have fitted in, with the chats of struggle, of tiredness, of 'will our clothes ever be folded again', not being at work all week. Before my children arrived, I inhabited a space which most twenty somethings didn't, being at home a lot during the week, but occasionally being well enough to hold down a few hours of work. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But then, I think, I consider, I have never<i> really</i> been someone to 'fit in' with the standard path, so I guess I just need to bed down and find my place again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I read this a while ago....</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">' And I dig into this place, looking for truth and mining for the joy that is always in the mix. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">And as I do, I glimpse hope and possibiity looking back at me '</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">When I read it, my soul was shouting 'ALL THE YES'.....</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This is it, just how I feel.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It was written by a brilliant lady, she blogs ....<a href="https://thehippochronicles.wordpress.com/2015/08/08/feeling-homesick/">here</a> at 'thehippochronicles' ( crazy name for a blog ! )</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Another reason I haven't blogged much, is cos I am SO very very bad at grammar, I know I am a sloppy writer, and when you read an abundance of well written blogs, It shines a mirror up to my lackadaisical </span><span style="font-size: large;">approach to writing. I am no perfectionist when it comes to writing, there's no denying it !</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I will leave you with some snaps of the two faces that keep me ticking along. and </span><span style="font-size: large;">hopefully, a promise of some slightly more focussed blog posts again soon ! </span><br />
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<br />mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-91299533292782544562015-05-20T05:04:00.003-07:002015-09-08T03:17:37.896-07:00The space between.<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">I have been wanting to write again for a while, but I just haven't quiiiiiiite managed it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">
But here I am, back in the blogging saddle and ready to go.</span></span><br />
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I've been trying to put thoughts together in my mind for a while now, about the space I occupy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">The space in-between being healthy, and being one who lives with a chronic and disabling illness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><br />
Today I have been both packing to go camping at the weekend, and also looking into buying a mobility scooter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">I have been to toddler group with the kids, but also spent 4 hours in bed this afternoon. It's an odd place to occupy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><br />
The space between.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><br />
I fit into both worlds, at different times.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">At times I feel out of place and a fraud in both camps.</span><br />
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Mentally it can be tough to deal with. I have amazing friends who really 'get it'. But even for them I can make it hard, as some days I want to pretend, pretend that I don't always feel unwell, kind of like you do at the end of a virus, that my limbs and joints don't ache, and when there is lots of noise and stimulation I feel totally overwhelmed and tired. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">Then some days, I realise I have to acknowledge the condition more. I <i>am</i> slightly disabled, and it's not only better for me to acknowledge this, but also better for the people around me.</span><br />
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There are weeks where I don't really think about CFS, I just move about in the little world I have created which works, happily resting and pottering about with the kids. I am so grateful that I have this luxury. There have been many times where I feared that I wouldn't make it back to this stage of energy/ health. And this fear isn't unfounded. There are many women, who, after having kids relapse for years and years and are bed bound entirely.</span><br />
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But then I remember... </span><br />
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I remember it, when my kids don't like walking much, and that is largely because we don't, we drive everywhere, even to the shop across the road.</span><br />
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I remember it, when the weekends have to factor in a few hours sleep for me.</span><br />
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I remember it, when to enable my husband and I to socialise one evening, I need a lie in, then a long sleep all afternoon.</span><br />
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I remember it, when we need a second income, but I am not well enough to go out and earn some pennies.</span><br />
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The space between 'normal' energy, health, and living with chronic illness is at times an uncomfortable and confusing place.</span><br />
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mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-89365889072533439392014-09-10T05:50:00.001-07:002014-09-11T11:32:07.837-07:00Half way up.<span style="font-size: x-large;">Have you ever climbed up a really big hill?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">And as you approach what you believe to be the top, you see, that there is in fact, a whooole lot more hill to climb. But when standing at the bottom, you couldnt see the actual top, just the 'pretend' top ?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Well right now, that's about where I am at with this whole CFS/ME malarky.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">compared to this time last year, I am ooodles (I love that word) better.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I can walk around a shop, I can go to playgroup with the kids, I can make it to church most weeks. I can sometimes cook a meal.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Progress.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">It's great.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I find it hard to describe the feelings of elation at getting a bit of energy back after a prolonged period of absence. The other day, I stood in my kitchen and wiped things, I made things shiny ! Granted, someone else had swept and mopped and done lots of the other jobs, but just being able to stand for longer makes so many more things possible.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Yesterday, I found myself feeling down, just fed up, frustrated and trapped.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">After some time mulling it over a bit, it dawned on me. I have had this condition for over 10 years, I have experienced times where it has been fairly mild, and times when its been severe, but its been there since I was 23. Thats a long time. And some days, it it just feels too much.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I keep kind of hoping that I would morph into someone who has no desire to go for long walks, or go for a jog, or go canoeing, or body boarding, or swimming in open water half way up a hill, or do a job which uses my talents or I worked hard to train for, chat at a party, or go to a conference for a full day, or, you get the picture.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But I haven't, I still want to do all those things. I know some people don't but I did, and still do, and its like i'm in a prison not being allowed by my body to do them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">If a Doctor could give me more of a reason why I have limited energy, I am unsure if it would make it any easier, but it would be nice to know anyhow.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Having spent months revelling in the joy of being able to go out together as a family, socialise a bit more, chat a bit more, create and enjoy, a bit more...I want more.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I just want more.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">It's like I have reached the 'fake top', and I can see what else there is to grasp at.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">People say to me, ' ahh yes, but when you have kids everything is more limited and you can't do the things you want to'.... well yes, but I couldnt do them before I had kids !</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">So here I am, half way up my hill, so very happy to have made it this far, but ohhh so desperate to leave my 'half way camp' and climb to the top.</span>mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-18450004827437062102014-07-07T12:09:00.001-07:002014-07-07T12:09:32.577-07:00Thinkings: When people die without air.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I read <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-28159997">this</a> news article yesterday, and it kind of hit me in the face, you know, right between the eyes. There are so many things in the news that grab my attention, propel me out of my comfy life and force me to look, head on at the awful 'stuff' which takes place around me. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But this one, just did something a bit more than that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">If you haven't read the article, it is an account of a small shipping vessel found off the coast of Sicily. Like lots of boats approaching Italy at the moment, it came from North Africa, and was rammed to the brink with people trying to escape to Europe, in the hope of a safer life. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">When the police reached the boat, and went down to the hull, there was a mass of intertwined bodies, hundreds of them. Intertwined, like a messy pile of string, desperate to be unravelled. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">They all died while trying to flee the reality of violence and poverty they were trying to leave behind.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I was lying in my bed while reading this, and two things really struck me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Firstly, just how desperate some people, well not some, but thousands and thousands are, to want to cram themselves into the hull of a boat, just to escape to what they hope will be a better life. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I hate boats on the sea, I get VERY seasick, I hate going below deck, the fumes are horrid, it's usually stuffy and hot. These people basically layered themselves in, they paid a lot of money for this privilege, just to escape. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">They second thing I found gruelling to read, was the account of a man who said he was on the boat. He was thought to have paid more for his passage as he got to sit on the deck, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">this deck.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"> He said that the door which led to the hull of the boat was open, so the people squashed in the hull could have an air source. As the boat hit choppy waters, they started to try to clamber out of the hull, thus jeopardising the safety of those already on the deck. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">So the passengers on the deck, shut the door.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">They shut the door.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Shouts could be heard <em>begging</em> them to open the door.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The door was never re opened.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I couldn't believe that the people on the deck, just let them die.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">They LET them die.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But then, I stopped and thought. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">They shut the door, as they feared for their already volatile chances of survival. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Could they have not done some kind of rotation system ?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Could they not have explained it to them, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">could they not, could they not.....?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">It was then I realised, the people on the deck were richer, the ones underneath weren't, they paid less for their tickets.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">How often in life could I forgo a luxury ( let alone a basic necessity to live) to help someone less fortunate than myself. To swap places with them for a brief time, just to make things more bearable.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Daily, I choose not to do this.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Human nature is to protect ourselves, it is also to help others, but there is a line.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">And on that boat the line was drawn, and those people died.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">If I was in that position, what would I say to someone like me? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I don't know, I really don't. But, I suspect some on that boat, coming from Syria at some point had a life not dissimilar to mine, with all the privilege that being middle class brings. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But then things got messy. There was war and displacement.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">What would they say to me today ?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I kind of wonder, if it would simply be, enjoy the freedom I have. Enjoy and live life.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Not spend my days feeling guilty, guilty that I have, and they don't. Guilty that I am alive and those who died in that vile and inhumane way, aren't.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But just to live, to thrive, to enjoy every ounce of what I have.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Surely <em>not</em> to make the most of my freedom, and take pleasure in what I have is the ultimate insult to people on that boat ?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I don't know, but that is what I just wondered when I read it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I also kind of wonder if people are going to desperate measures to get to Europe, the least we can do is share with them, just a little bit more ?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-73419310825975654532014-07-02T02:53:00.001-07:002014-07-02T02:53:26.815-07:00Ten on Tuesday<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">1. Today was my biggest's sport day, well, when I say sports day, think a gaggle of 3 year olds running about, attempting obstacle courses, not entirely sure what they are supposed to be doing. She was a bit young to fully enjoy it, but another 'First' for me as a Mummy today.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Sports day - check.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">2. My little one has started walking, and he is fast. He also has an overarm throw on him, which, if continues to improve could pop him on a fast track as a javelin throwing olympian. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">So far his throwing skills have broken two mugs </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">( of course they weren't the cheap ones ) and a Denby plate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">3. We went camping a few weeks back with a group of friends, it was a lot of work, and I came home with a throat infection, BUT, it was worth it, and made me very glad of the english countryside and the friends I have who are 'doing life' with us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">4. I have had more energy than usual, so am trying to reduce the price of our weekly shop, I had forgotten how much money you can save when you have energy to cook, and chop stuff, and withstand a visit to a budget supermarket from time to time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">5. I had also forgotten how much I love it when it is warm enough to make the transition from inside to outside without the need to change clothing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">6. Husbando is off with a load of stinky teenagers on a 'Duke of Edinburgh' trip this week. I am yet to decide who drew the short straw, me being with the kids solo for a few days, or him in a field in the rain. ..... jury is still out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">7. I had my eye on a top recently that I liked, was £16, just too expensive for my budget, saw it on the 'sale rail' for £4 - result.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">8. I have just had a coffee with a friend who lives on our street, and has the same aged kiddos as me. When we moved here, a little way from my existing network of friends, I prayed for a friend who I 'clicked' with, who also had kids the same age, and whaddya know, she materialised ! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">9. I always love Glastonbury weekend, I set myself up with some tasty snacks, get my remote and enjoy the festival vibe from the comfort of my dry sofa. Have to say some of the presenters this year did my head in just a teensy bit, I used to love it when John Peel and Jo Whiley just winged it as they went along. Getting a bit old maybe ?!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">10. This little chap was fairly grouchy for most of our camping trip, apart from when eating strawberries.........</span><br />
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mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-6082496343406611002014-06-30T02:18:00.001-07:002014-06-30T02:18:09.340-07:00Moments of Joy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">When the sun comes out, and I have the energy to go out in it, Life always feels good !</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">We have had a few trips away over the past few months, Here are a few snaps of my girl, enjoying herself. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I am very thankful for happy kids, most of the time mine are, and on the times when they are not, I tend to put on some loud music, and ignore them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">(Watch this space for a parenting book to be written...... or not ! )</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7rUouIKAU64Kuw2r_ndYK5TvyrOiHj6x2yBWoj5PNdhGdPhRE5GcgXTJextsWh4kWf8_mmH2fjEHaih02W0MuIiyb-odqLK3o_VqpPntgBR557kZBeyV7jIpYTj4HTHFI-5L-n63micIF/s1600/IMG_3466.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7rUouIKAU64Kuw2r_ndYK5TvyrOiHj6x2yBWoj5PNdhGdPhRE5GcgXTJextsWh4kWf8_mmH2fjEHaih02W0MuIiyb-odqLK3o_VqpPntgBR557kZBeyV7jIpYTj4HTHFI-5L-n63micIF/s1600/IMG_3466.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">By the stream on the campsite we went to in Edale....... </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"> In our friend's garden at Easter..... there is lots of Joy in dancing isn't there ?</span>mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-7774093753827295642014-06-22T03:24:00.000-07:002014-06-22T03:24:21.907-07:00A catch up and a few Thinkings.<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">It seems I haven't written a blog post for about three months............I'm not entirely sure why, I think mostly it is due to the fact I have been reading a bit more. It's been great to have the mental energy to read again, and oil up those rusty brain cogs of mine, setting them in monition once more. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have been feeling like I'm ready to explore a bit more theology, and where the Christian practises I am part of originate from. In the past, I guess I have been a bit tentative about digging too deep, asking too many questions, as sometimes it's easier to listen to a leader at church, (who you are fairly certain isn't a total loony) and kind of go with what they think.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">(I hope I'm not the only one who is perhaps that lazy ?!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Here is a whistle stop tour of a few 'thinkings' and things I have been reading lately. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">It's been very much in the forefront of the media, Christians everywhere are being forced to consider what they actually believe God says</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> about LGBT marriage/relationships, I too have been trying to make some space in my head to consider this. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">This blog by <a href="http://vickybeeching.com/blog/lgbt-theology-1/">Vicky Beeching</a>, has been a great starting point for me, and has helped me to look into varying view points around the theology of sexuality.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Another thing I think about a fair amount is suffering, God, prosperity, and how the three lie next to each other, This lady's blog has been another place to help me explore these things <a href="http://tanyamarlow.com/flowers-and-tears-and-mothers-day/">Tanya Marlow</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Sometimes daring to question things can be tough, isolating and a bit scary. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The book <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Found-Micha-Boyett/dp/1617952168">'Found' by Micha Boyett</a> has been on the top of my reading list. She explores the way Benedictine Monks pray, at intervals throughout the day, and uses that as a pattern for her daily prayer, in the midst of changing nappies, working and attempting to connect with God. It's like reading a book a friend has written. I identify with so much of what she writes. Thoughts of feeling like my life doesn't quite have the positive impact on the world and the needy as I hoped it would, and disappointment that my prayer life often resembles more of a mumble, or a 'tweet', rather than an intersession. Anyway, it's good, I would recommend it ! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The energy fairy has definitely been kind to me in recent months. Despite currently writing this from the sofa, a bit too knackered to get out this morning, in general, I 'm doing really well. Getting out and about, picnics, camping trips and cooking a few meals here and there.....things are good ! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Here is the little one, in the wheelbarrow, 'helping' to mix the concrete for our patio.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOqJTI0CCVdiVPjxCJ-UnePaixLn5ZpML61GmS2MHGXhPuoD6BaStf-ndWY8eZtVj8mFbU6SRlmkkA7nXqZJovR7uNzTWo99w1IuYd04vf5cvnKfl9SYgGYcqsXFaUDQDCd4fQa7xu67pl/s1600/IMG_3409.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOqJTI0CCVdiVPjxCJ-UnePaixLn5ZpML61GmS2MHGXhPuoD6BaStf-ndWY8eZtVj8mFbU6SRlmkkA7nXqZJovR7uNzTWo99w1IuYd04vf5cvnKfl9SYgGYcqsXFaUDQDCd4fQa7xu67pl/s1600/IMG_3409.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></span></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Bye for now, and hopefully I will be writing again soon ! </span>mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-8982490385900569442014-03-13T03:21:00.000-07:002015-09-08T03:06:08.322-07:00Thinkings.<span style="font-size: large;">Not very often, but occasionally, I get quite cross/mad/irate, however you want to label, those feelings of utter frustration and powerlessness about a situation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Whenever you read something about CFS/ME it is usually about 'managing' it, and rarely about a 'cure'.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This sucks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Over the past ten years, I have become a bit of a pro at managing CFS……which is great, but also not, at the same time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It confuses me how my body can have such little energy. At the moment it has a <i>whole</i> lot more than it has in times gone by, but there is no certainty that it will remain this way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Yes I am doing 'well', life is pretty good, but it's all due to a lot of careful planning, timetabling, and pacing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I can't climb a mountain ( or even a hill ! )…..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I can't swim for more than a length at a real push….</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I can't walk more than about 400 meters…..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I can't spend a whole day socialising…….</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I can't go to a church conference….</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I can't go out in the morning with my family and then stay up and alert in the afternoon too…..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I can't go out in the evening more than about once a month.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I can't commit to anything, as I don't know If I will manage it on the day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I don't usually list these things, as it's not the most positive way to 'manage' CFS, but sometimes it does me good to stare CFS in the face, and see all it takes from me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I would LOVE to be fully better, fully well, tired like any other parent of two small kids, but not to the point of exhaustion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So many thoughts have to go into planning a trip….can we park nearby? will there be seat to sit on,………..</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I guess I could do most of those things on the list above, but would spend a week in bed recovering.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The thing I find the hardest to deal with, is the mental fatigue. When spending time with other people, which I really enjoy, I just kind of run out, run out of energy to think and talk. I can do it, but then I need lots of recovery time afterwards.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There has to be a reason, for it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I refuse to believe that there isn't.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So there they are, the thoughts which I usually hide in the back of my mind, safely tucked away. Preventing them from eating away at my positivity, and enjoyment of life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As, most of the time, I really do love my life. I have two beautiful healthy kids, a husband who is healthy and with me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This year I celebrate my parents 60th birthdays…….amazingly rich am I.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's pretty great.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But if the CFS monster could get lost, I would be glad.</span>mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-35577623542982833302014-03-13T01:27:00.001-07:002014-03-13T01:27:30.381-07:00Ten on Tuesday <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">1. I hear there are some parents who manage to dress their kids in matching socks EVERY day, and have well hoovered cars. I aspire to such dizzy heights. Our car has it's own micro system, largely started by rice cakes and bread sticks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">2. The sun has come out...it's spring. THANK GOD.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">3. My boy mostly says 'this' or 'see'....think I need to start using some more useful words to add to his vocabulary.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">4. 2- 4pm.....I dislike those hours. Give me 10am every time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">5. At the moment this is our favourite book..... So funny and is a book long poem, love it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">6. If I was ever to do a PHD it would be research into where socks and teaspoons go. WHERE ARE THEY ALL ?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">7. It's 1pm and I need to think of something to do this afternoon. I have had lots of offers from lovely friends of company, but today I lack the energy to hurd/police/play with my small kids whilst simultaneously talking to someone else, so we are going it alone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Daddy had a breakfast meeting and one after work too, so it could be a loooong one.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">8. Most days we watch Balamory, and every time I look at 'Miss Hooly' and want to climb into the television and give her a restyle. Just call me the fashion police. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">9. World book day - more like 'world dressing up day'......nuff said.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">10. I'm thinking give it another week or so and I will be wearing my flip flops - 'FREE THE FEET'....</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I like to think my feet will look like this </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">the reality will be RATHER different.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Happy Tuesday friends !</span></div>
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mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-7644119372148130122014-03-03T12:44:00.002-08:002015-09-08T03:17:58.884-07:00A quick 'helloooooo'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have been lacking blogging inspiration lately, but wanted to check in, to share some of these lovely images of my boy. </div>
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My newly 1 year old little squash.</div>
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It's been a really fulfilling year for me as a Mum. </div>
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This little chap has made it an easy task, he's a gem.</div>
mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-73129599806455279252014-02-08T10:40:00.003-08:002014-02-08T10:40:23.744-08:00Day trips and birthdays<span style="font-size: x-large;">In a week or two, my littlest Deane, will be One. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">One whole year of pooing, eating, crying and bringing mostly joy into my life. Celebrating his birthday will be a little different from how we celebrated his big sister's. No tea party with other 'baby friends', we are going to keep it just family. One of the things I have always thought about first birthday's, is that they are more for the parents than the kids, and thats ok. Celebration of a year survived and mostly flourishing. We (<i> I </i>) really wanted to go on a family trip to an aquarium. Little tyke, my 3 yr old loves fish and all things aquatic, and little little chap will stare and enjoy most things. I wanted to go on a little trip somewhere, mostly because thats what families do isn't it ? The CFS monster seems to have beem kinder to me over the past few months, so half a day out somewhere is now possible ( woop woop !).</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I'm beginning to look at places to go, things we could do, but woooooah it has kind of slapped me in the face how much all these things cost. And if I'm really honest, the reality that we can't afford to be a family which frequently goes to places like this, has kind of hit me hard. Its a weird thing, because I grew up in a family in the 80s, with four little people in it, and like most other families then, going to the zoo/aquarium/fairground etc was a rare thing. A countryside walk was our entertainment and we loved it. But I guess now, these things are more common place, and I have suprised myself at how much I want my kids to go places just like other kids do.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I know in my 'knower' that at the ages of 1 and 3, a trip to a park and an ice cream is going to bring them much joy and delight, I know that when we go camping in May, running around a field in the long grass, will be the thing they remember - Not that we didn't go to an Aquarium or Zoo on their birthdays, but it's still there, nagging in my mind, that I want them to ..…do….enjoy…..experience.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">We really are pack animals us humans aren't we ? We like to do what other people are doing, And I am no exception!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">We have a season pass to a safari park which is near our home, and my kids have an abundance of toys, friends and fun makers in their lives. They really do lack nothing, but I am much more content about the fact that I will probably buy most of my clothes secondhand for the foreseeable future….than I feel about my kids missing out on something. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">We have a lovely house, filled with beautiful things, have more clothes than we need........and are constantly amazed at how people help us out to enable us to pay for things to make our lives easier while my health isn't great.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">But where my kids are concerned I want them to have it all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Not sure if this feeling will ever go, but for now I want to admit it's there, and not bankrupt us in the persuit of fulfilling it !</span><br />
<br />mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-9972165604872868642014-01-21T11:56:00.000-08:002014-01-21T11:56:26.107-08:00A chilly day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">On my birthday just before Christmas, we popped along to a nearby National Trust haunt.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">It was one of those delightfully crisp, and chilly winters day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Trips out like this are what I live for really, It sounds trite, but it's the sum total of all I love about life, being out in God's amazing creation, with my beautiful family. </span></div>
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<br />mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-5619112972931457432014-01-16T01:51:00.002-08:002014-01-16T01:51:59.528-08:00Thinkings<span style="font-size: x-large;">Sometimes it can feel like a bit from the bible is kind of chasing me around.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">It's always a good thing when this happens, I guess I feel like it's the way the Big Guy up there reminds me of something, or, it's just a coincidence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I'll let you decide that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Either way, When it happens I need to remember to write it down, so here it is ;</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">'Faith that can move mountains'…….it's a phrase you can hear a lot when part of a charismatic faith filled church. It's a great one line phrase. Which can stir everyone into a frenzy of trying harder, and Believing and hoping, oh so much hoping for Miracles and things to change.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But can often leave me feeling a little inadequate in my faith in what I believe God can ( or will ) do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I heard a lovely talk recently about where this verse came from ( or where he seems to think it does, i'm not sure of the validity of this information ! ) Anyway, before Jesus used the example of faith being strong/effecient enough to 'move mountains' There was an event in which King Herod had decided he wanted to build something where there was a mountain ( or big hill….who knows how they defined things in those days ! ) So he set his slaves to work, moving said 'mountain' so he could build what he wanted where the obstacle was. I don't know any details, but I'm guessing it would have taken a loooong time, maybe even years, and was an event which most people Jesus spoke to would have remembered. The guy doing this <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/having-mountain-moving-faith/id80260791?i=197331799&mt=2">Talk</a> reflected that sometimes faith isn't just about praying for a HUGE thing to happen, and it happen straight away, but how change can be small, and seemingly insignificant, and take a LOOOOONG time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I also read a blog post about a man who did a similar thing, taking YEARS and YEARS just so that children in a local area could build a small make shift school…..he quite literally moved the side of a small mountain, with just his hands and a wheel barrow.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I guess with these examples in mind, I do have 'faith that can move mountains'………Just one small step at a time.</span><br />
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<br />mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-4778761283616978752014-01-01T10:58:00.002-08:002014-01-01T11:01:51.792-08:00The year endeth once more...<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">What a year this one has been………</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">This time last year there was a person growing within,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Now he's come out and I'm once again thin, (ish)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">He drained me of all I had to offer,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Spending endless days in bed, and eating like a troffer….</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Eventually he emerged, with a fair bit of pushing,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Then he ate and slept, (with quite a lot of 'shushing')</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">He grew and developed, now he can crawl,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Little tyke has started nursery,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">But most of all, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have my two kids, both healthy and happy</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">(Unless Woody is sat in a dirty nappy) !</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">He's quite loud, my youngest little Deane,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Playing on his own, he is not keen.</span></div>
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</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I thought I may break under the pressure;</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">CFS, a baby and a toddler,</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Not a great combination to offer,</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I am loving life right now, tired, but not broken, content and satisfied,</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">With my friends, family and life with a pushchair ride.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But the year 2013 has been and gone,</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I know that it won't be long,</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Til i'm writing my end of year poem once more,</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">So 2014, give us your best,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I will give it my all, and God can do the rest. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
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mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-86594488068637624532013-12-04T01:34:00.002-08:002013-12-04T01:34:21.714-08:00Churchy thinkings…….Intentions<span style="font-size: x-large;">I am writing this unedited, and 'unmasked'. This is one of those posts where I just write what is in my head, pretty much, just as it is. No editing.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">( Excuse the poor grammar )</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have been thinking a lot about intentions recently. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">My intentions, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">other's intentions and the good and bad they seem to do.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">As a Christian I have been part of churches of many types for all of my life, and have seen lots of people hurt, upset, offended and wounded by people in churches. I am one of these slightly annoying people who always manages to see both sides to every story. I have had friends in total turmoil because another well meaning Christian has said and done things which has really hurt them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Processing these things for me has been hard, really hard. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">How and why can one person who professes to follow Jesus, preaches that they love him and want to emulate his caring and loving characteristics cause so much pain to another person ?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I think I have discovered that in the main, (there are exceptions to this rule) they haven't 'meant' to be hurtful, and have mostly been doing and behaving in a way they thought was 'right', and more often than not, a way they perceive the bible to tell them to act.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But this 'discovery' leaves me with a dilemma, if believing strongly in a certain ideal/rule/standard, can hurt, offend and cause loneliness and isolation to others, is that believe ever actually God intended ?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I don't know.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">For example (and this is just one example of MANY I could draw on ) the whole debate about Women's role in church and Women bishops…..there are many Christians, some of whom I know well and love very much, Who would say that the bible doesn't allow Women to be in total leadership over men, and therefore would say that Women shouldn't be bishops, or overall church leaders. Now, I totally disagree with this, and this viewpoint I believe, contributes to oppression of women, and doesn't reflect God's character. <i>But,</i> the people who have and would again vote against this, are mostly doing so out of an intention which is to please, and be obedient to how they interpret the bible. Obedience to God - is an intention I also share.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">That leaves me and the wider church I am a part of in a sticky situation………</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I think what I have concluded, is that it's important to look at someone's intentions before judging them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have also concluded, that if my intentions are to love people, to accept them as they are RIGHT NOW…not as I <i>think</i> they should become, then God will not judge me as wrong for that. I too want to please God, but cannot see how suppressing any type of person is in line with that.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Call me a liberal or an unruly lefty, but I feel much happier knowing that when I meet Jesus, which I believe one day I will, I will be judged more harshly for the damage I could do in trying to get it all 'right', than loving someone with a strong and unswerving love. The kind I believe Jesus showed and have missed out a few rules here and there.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">These are my thinkings so far !</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">For anyone reading this who isn't part of a church, I am IN NO WAY saying that direct abuse and pain is EVER justifiable in the 'name of God' or religion. I am merely talking about decisions and guidelines which church goers tend to create in order to run a church. Abuse is always wrong. ALWAYS.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<br />mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-15369993113352941642013-11-11T04:00:00.000-08:002013-11-11T04:00:16.919-08:00Sunny days<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">As are most people, I am a big fan of sunshine.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">What's not to love ? </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">This week, instead of going to church, we went for a family stroll on the beach. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Being outside, marvelling at all God has made was wonderful.</span></div>
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<br />mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-38611079580023675982013-11-07T02:00:00.000-08:002013-11-07T02:01:33.881-08:00Ten on Tuethursday<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Ten on Tuesday</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have recently been MIA a bit round here of late. So I am popping my head above the parapit and coming out my hidey hole with a ten on....Thursday.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">1. I am currently sat on my sofa fully acknowledging the fact that I have dropped a needle not too far from where my behind is placed.....awaiting the pain of being a human pincushion.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">2. Public announcement - We are now a TWO car family, this fact feels <i>very</i> strange. In the absence of the stamina to walk very far, and with nursery drop offs added into the mix, my taxi bill had reached the scary dizzy heights of the price of running a teeny tiny car. I feel very thankful for having a car available to me during the day....... just need to control my urge to go to exciting places which I don't yet have energy for !</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">3. Little Tyke has started nursery. So far, she seems ok, and I think I am just about coping with the transition. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have had most of these feelings about this new regime.......</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">- Why on earth am I sending her to nursery, she really doesn't NEED to go, why make more work getting her there each day ?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">- It's great for her to be at nursery, she gets to do things which I don't always have energy or inclination to do with her.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">- There are soooooo many other kids there, all in a smallish room, feel like I am feeding her to the dogs !</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">- She likes it, it's free, it doesn't seem to be doing her any harm, so why not get three hours with just one child to care for three times a week ?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: x-large;">So I guess I am having all the usual parental deliberations which float about each and every choice we make for them. (Sometimes I wish I hadn't read and studied so much about childhood and education.....ignorance can be bliss !?)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">4. The most junior member of our household, is shaping up to be a slightly more tricky customer than his sister when it comes to sleeping. He's not awful at it, but not great either....YAAAAAWN.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">5. I have started doing a teensy bit of cooking again, it feels good, but I am also out of practise. I have made some fairly dubious meals recently.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">6. Having the stamina to stand up and do a few dishes and wipe the kitchen surfaces feels good. sad, but true.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">7. Anyone else finding it hard not to get into debt to facilitate buying your little ones too many presents for Christmas? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I am determined not to, but It is much harder than I had anticipated.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">8. A wave of realisation has come over me lately, that I am soon to be 33 - THIRTY THREE.....I'm sure I was only 26 a few weeks ago.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">9. On bonfire night I realised we got engaged eight years ago ! Our attempts at getting out to a firework display were somewhat hindered by two tired snotty kids, and a set of parents who lacked the energy to be bothered to make it happen - next year we WILL go........ !</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">10. My two little cuties out and about enjoying life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQpnvNCIHQ1SEX47L81XS5ZJ8xwguWraYbvsFmH7HCl0Iiwh6Ui5QrJfEvb_Gb44ANKCbhIBBE9HEtDLo_rla0TKV32PJiuV2Y9QjoZqUGdPPTuxAwWpJjosqhSilD0nhSpy-B8S4VOi3-/s1600/IMG_3029.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQpnvNCIHQ1SEX47L81XS5ZJ8xwguWraYbvsFmH7HCl0Iiwh6Ui5QrJfEvb_Gb44ANKCbhIBBE9HEtDLo_rla0TKV32PJiuV2Y9QjoZqUGdPPTuxAwWpJjosqhSilD0nhSpy-B8S4VOi3-/s640/IMG_3029.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div>
mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-47035487390440868092013-11-07T01:38:00.000-08:002013-11-07T01:43:39.132-08:00When your mind plays tricks on you<span style="font-size: large;">I have quite a few close friends in my life, you know the kind you have either known for years, or feel like you have. They have seen you at your best and worst ? Well, those are the ones I'm talking about.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">One of my friends who falls firmly into this category, (I could go on and on about her, as she is pretty ace) has <a href="http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Bipolar-disorder/Pages/Introduction.aspx">Bipolar</a>. I asked her to write a bit about it for me to share with you all.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">There is a wonderful trend in the blogging world at the moment to write about experiences of Mental health issues. Statistically 1 in 4 of us will encounter a mental health problem in some form or other during our life time, so talking about it is really valuable.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I will leave you with this little excerpt into my friend's experience of living with Bipolar. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>I was diagnosed with bi-polar a few years ago, but looking
back I can see the sometimes wild pattern of crazy highs swinging to dismal
lows has been the fabric of my life for as long as I can remember. These days I
am medicated, so my symptoms aren’t so dramatic. So let me tell you about some
of my pre-medicated days, as they were, I think, quite interesting…<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>I am talking crazy times. I wasn’t ‘crazy’ all the time – I
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mind, and myself, for a while. Here are
a few examples of my crazy moments:<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>- Walking down the street with no trousers on.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>- Deciding, in the middle of the night, that my town was a
mess and so I went litter picking, on my own in the city centre.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>- Knocking on my neighbours’ doors asking to borrow shampoo,
wearing nothing but a towel.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>- Going to the registry office to get a marriage license
with a man I had just met, believing that God had sent him to be my husband.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>- Visiting an armed robber in Strangeways for a cheeky snog.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>During these times my symptoms vary. Sometimes my mind will
race so fast I cannot keep up with it, and my speech and actions increase in
tempo too. I need very little sleep and can stay awake for days at a time,
being active throughout the night without requiring any rest. I get inspired by
every tiny thing, enthusing about how amazing things are then later looking
back and realising they are actually quite mundane. I can be ludicrously happy,
drunk, out of control. It seems like my mind and mouth disconnect, I hear words
coming out of me, my own voice, saying the most shocking things yet I seem to
have no power to hold back. My confidence soars and I become fearless. At times
I am super cranky and irritable, swearing a lot and flying off the handle at
the slightest little thing. I have also, in my pre-medicated days, lost all
sense of reality, I started to believe that I was magic and wore my head
covered fearing that my powers would escape were I to uncover it. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>My medication dampens down these symptoms and stops me from
losing control, though I still have days when I know I need to stay home and
not talk to anyone lest I cause trouble.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>
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</i></span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Then there are the ‘downs’. Here I am very fortunate, for my
times of serious depression are few and far between. I have had really dark
times when the world lost all its colour and I simply longed to be dead. But
usually my down times are not so severe, and present themselves in lethargy,
over-sensitivity and low self esteem. Friends have commented that my version of
down ishow they function normally – so in this way I am fortunate indeed. And
as the pattern of cycling continues, I always find comfort in knowing that
whatever I am experiencing will in time move on to another phase.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>I resisted medication for a long time, fearing that it would
steal my personality. But following a particularly bad manic episode which
wreaked havoc in my relationships and hurt those around me I agreed to give it
a try. I have never looked back. I still feel the highs and the lows, but not
in such great measure; they are dulled down, diluted. I have learnt to
recognise the early warning signs and to adjust accordingly. If I feel manic I clear the calendar and try to take it easy,
be gentle with myself. I avoid people, and situations, which trigger me off,
and I try to live as simple an existence as I possibly can.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>When I look back on my path of life I am so grateful that I
have been protected by a power infinitely greater than myself. Yes I have been
in some crazy situations, some of which were hideous, but the consequences were
not dire, I am still here to tell the tale. And as for today, I am smiling.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">If you are interested in reading a few more things like this, here are a few I have found recently.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://walkingwiththemoon.com/2013/10/07/not-all-mental-patients-have-chainsaws/">'not all mental patients have chainsaws'</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">'<a href="http://thehippochronicles.wordpress.com/2013/10/03/part-1-the-diagnosis/">thehippochronicles</a>'</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-40947620898785110422013-10-15T07:43:00.005-07:002013-10-15T08:07:56.589-07:00Week in pictures<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Week or two in pictures. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I turned an ' I don't want to walk' tantrum into a photo opportunity.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_HLLBWECm8wq2wB-jpPJGvdDa-txLuw4R-ZlbxRyxRND4oInetjkyTw1tiLWxl8dK8iyU3J2B4qK2yu_fIWIg3Ibf7jY3S_M4hs_ij5UH9xKhcSL4VME2_alXpLYEuYmYogeStfkKkgYo/s1600/IMG_9068.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_HLLBWECm8wq2wB-jpPJGvdDa-txLuw4R-ZlbxRyxRND4oInetjkyTw1tiLWxl8dK8iyU3J2B4qK2yu_fIWIg3Ibf7jY3S_M4hs_ij5UH9xKhcSL4VME2_alXpLYEuYmYogeStfkKkgYo/s640/IMG_9068.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The cheesiest of grins ! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigNfBlkAK_Bp5Nb3cIxMaLkYBHTH9w0JDISybPev59mx6F5YIdYfFJPCK9xwFH1jeSwHv7gXcM2ckInN5rWi-W2qa-B60FmH7dHar-eSse8Tn_3wHuXbFUIj2jBEwRPUTQWAT9sK1XarH4/s1600/IMG_9142.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigNfBlkAK_Bp5Nb3cIxMaLkYBHTH9w0JDISybPev59mx6F5YIdYfFJPCK9xwFH1jeSwHv7gXcM2ckInN5rWi-W2qa-B60FmH7dHar-eSse8Tn_3wHuXbFUIj2jBEwRPUTQWAT9sK1XarH4/s400/IMG_9142.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Mid flight.....</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGz9AJr5xa3QEDBboRNUpO5v3IzY0OqVQuQ_yKWs2RRbeyF53rJOVIE_rQNnkqH-3Qri2dOuTMHHZezco0nCpjtOAbRj87eJdSbWRONKDxtvOfnlVjdp0kihZVFZ5r7WwFDy_yo13chpYV/s1600/IMG_9153.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGz9AJr5xa3QEDBboRNUpO5v3IzY0OqVQuQ_yKWs2RRbeyF53rJOVIE_rQNnkqH-3Qri2dOuTMHHZezco0nCpjtOAbRj87eJdSbWRONKDxtvOfnlVjdp0kihZVFZ5r7WwFDy_yo13chpYV/s640/IMG_9153.jpg" width="424" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Little charmer.....</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJwsQR2Bl_Z9FObnUTdw4v-V1M1S8V9j73P2ZR_Of2WsyX1CNaTN2aQO5cJMxTsGyqWWWAgCYJ2xJQnyLgyMIPpANyYTLFr9DNovUQcSiNJSymCYKsx35G0gdWzLqoeThUWjdTe-aExgyb/s1600/IMG_9099.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJwsQR2Bl_Z9FObnUTdw4v-V1M1S8V9j73P2ZR_Of2WsyX1CNaTN2aQO5cJMxTsGyqWWWAgCYJ2xJQnyLgyMIPpANyYTLFr9DNovUQcSiNJSymCYKsx35G0gdWzLqoeThUWjdTe-aExgyb/s320/IMG_9099.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">My two little ones, the best photo I have been able to get of them both together for ages....needs work. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPMFOgDndIa42E5gmKfvmUNReEFwUdQN2v32cdYknvhfbOjjdeAYXO8XJw0WL398J3kHTh3hvSfW6DbluLsycNfQmd4klzRLpkMCNPtTB0ocme_ebIexcgVrD9RE059c0HyU_Cuy5tmpQl/s1600/IMG_9108.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPMFOgDndIa42E5gmKfvmUNReEFwUdQN2v32cdYknvhfbOjjdeAYXO8XJw0WL398J3kHTh3hvSfW6DbluLsycNfQmd4klzRLpkMCNPtTB0ocme_ebIexcgVrD9RE059c0HyU_Cuy5tmpQl/s640/IMG_9108.JPG" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<br />mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-38471426290183817812013-10-13T12:11:00.002-07:002013-10-15T08:13:37.564-07:00Times are a changin'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have been wanting to write a post about my Little Tyke for a while now. She is just wonderful, and I could write about her all day, her little oddities, cute-ities, and lovely-ities.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">She is mostly, (she has her off days, don't we all ?!) great company. I'm not sure if that shows how interesting she is, or how bad my social life has become, but either way. She is at the age where everything is a question, and enquiry or a request. She has even started telling jokes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Cute.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Now, for any other parents with a child over the age of three, this isn't news to you. But it's new for me, my first baby is now three, yes THREE. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">This is her at her birthday party, making a play dough sculpture of some description.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg61VncSYJP_n7MyxE8vV61nDeyGLpyFBI-bxA3brz5tLSb1XI7R4M9txnYHlHw_m_O5rdX8gGIJ3bfRc86ZYAr_xF2SGsFA7aTD4eo9DTfuOtiMutDS7Hqziizxd_RcTYzHNcSf2UYN3H3/s1600/IMG_8927.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg61VncSYJP_n7MyxE8vV61nDeyGLpyFBI-bxA3brz5tLSb1XI7R4M9txnYHlHw_m_O5rdX8gGIJ3bfRc86ZYAr_xF2SGsFA7aTD4eo9DTfuOtiMutDS7Hqziizxd_RcTYzHNcSf2UYN3H3/s640/IMG_8927.JPG" width="538" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tomorrow she takes her first trip out of our safe, fluffy nest, into the big wide world of pre school. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I am trying not to make it into a huge drama, projecting some angst I have about her growing up onto her, isn't gonna help anyone. So tomorrow morning will be as low key affair as I can make it. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">When I come home from dropping her off, I will be trying my best not to lament the passing of one phase, instead being excited for new times ahead. ( time will tell if I achieve this goal )</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">As I write this down, it sounds entirely ridiculous but since she was about 5 months old I have worried about how I would get her to nursery when she started. Not being able to walk far, and not having access to a car during the day, kind of makes this new phase a tricky one. But true to form, various people and situations have come together to mean it will be just fine. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I wanted this post to be more poetically written. A lovely reflection of my girl, but I'm a bit fuzzy headed today, you can't win them all ey.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tomorrow is the start of a new phase for my Little Tyke and I, hoping, really hoping it will be an enjoyable one.</span></div>
mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-63104979562248065102013-10-02T05:25:00.003-07:002013-10-02T05:25:44.010-07:00Church ramblings<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have been thinking a lot about Church recently, what it is, what I think about it, and what God thinks about it. I have always been a 'churchy' kind of girl, always loved going, and kind of felt at ease there. I know this is far from many people's experiences, but right now I can only really write from my own.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have sat myself in a variety of pews, chairs, cushions on the floor, and stools. All in different 'types' of churches. Pentecostal, Baptist, Anglican, Evangelical, Methodist, Assemblies of God, Pioneer, New Fronteers, House Churches, 'We haven't quite defined ourselves yet' Churches, and all the other types in between.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have found God in all of them, I have also found heartbreak and sin in all of them too. Cos Churches are full of people, and where people are, there is always mess.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">People are messy.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But I still believe that Church is what God wants me to be part of.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Before I had CFS, being 'in' a church was mostly what I 'did'. I worked there, worshiped there, played there, and while I spent time at university too, I guess my whole time schedule revolved around 'Church'. I don't regret this, and felt at the time it was the thing I wanted to do. That was ok. But gradually having CFS has made it really hard for me to be part of the church I loved. It was too energetic, too many people all at once, too big a commitment. I found I didn't really have a place in some parts of it as I was so very unreliable. It wasn't any one's fault, just circumstances. It has taken me years to get my head around this, I kind of felt like my right arm had been chopped off. Those years were tough, really tough.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">So I have had to take a step back, from 'doing' things in church, and just work out what are the most important things, for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Then, in time I use my small bits of energy on those.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">And with the arrival of children, they have changed again too.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Conferences, I can't really 'do' conferences, they are big, and loud and exhausting, they take huge amounts of energy, emotional and spiritual. I do like christian conferences, but I also think that maybe, just maybe we all spent too much time preparing them, making them look flashy and appealing, advertising them, then being at them. When really, our energy could be spent elsewhere.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">That's what I have discovered anyway.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">They often seem to be filled with communicating the latest 'trend' in churches, I don't have time or energy for churchy trends.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Just keeping it plain and simple is where I am at right now.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I also like biscuits, cheap custard creams dunked in a cup of well brewed tea, this stands me in good stead to enjoying most churchy gatherings :)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">In the past year we have moved to a different church, and it has been a bit like buying a new pair of Jeans. My previous Jeans were wonderful, initially fit me really well, but over time my body shape changed, and I needed a new pair, My old Jeans will always be my favourite I think, but the new Jeans enhance my shape better, and match better with the rest of my wardrobe.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">................................... There is more to this post, but I have been writing it for a few weeks, so in order to ever post it, it needs to come in segments.....right now I am watching cbeebies and playing a game with my daughter - not the most conducive environment for clear writing ey !!</span>mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-1991955004599808592013-09-22T00:59:00.001-07:002013-09-22T00:59:37.773-07:00Week in pictures<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Most of these photos are from the past month I guess.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">As you can see LT has been into lining up toys, races and 'expeditions'.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I know if I took a few minutes to edit these photos they could look really good, but if I'm being honest I just don't want to .......</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I am all about doing what I enjoy at the moment, so I say PAH to editing ! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The races are on</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Beautiful 'Teal' sat obediently where she was put. I think she was in the 'audience' </span><br />
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<br />mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-29245373575029337352013-09-18T11:04:00.002-07:002013-10-03T01:01:27.336-07:00Three little pegs....<span style="font-size: x-large;">(Well, they are actually nails, as that's what I had to hand when the urge took me to put them there )</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have always, since I can remember, wanted to be a Mum. I enjoy being around children, painting, talking about nonsense and playing. To have my own children, has always been a part of what I wanted to do with my life. I feel unbelievable pleased that it has happened, to me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">In spite of the difficulty of having CFS, most of the time, I love being a Mum. I like having a house full of toys, I like painty finger marks on the walls, I like that half of our kitchen is an art easel and a jumperoo, I like that we go to the park at the weekend, I like baking cupcakes, I like creating things out of playdough. I like choosing my kid's clothes, I like planning fun things to do together, I like playgroups, I like lying on the floor rolling around for no particular reason. I like having a bubble bath with a child in it, and lots of toys.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Now, hear me out here, if you read my blog regularly you will know, that I have my days, days of exhaustion, despair and that overwhelming urge, NOT to be the Mummy.....just for a few days. There is a very good trend at the moment in the blogging world, around writing honest posts about parenting, which is wonderful, a HUGE breath of fresh air, any war on this crazy comparison in parenting is worth fighting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">But for today, I wanted to share the things I love about it, as there are many.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The other day I knocked these three nails into the wall, and hung my kids cute things on them, in our hallway, for all to see. It makes my heart happy when I walk down the stairs and see them, hanging there, waiting patiently til they will next be required to shield a child from the rain, or make a 6 month old cosy and warm. I love having a house full of hussle and bussle and craziness, wellies strewn, ( although little tyke is learning to put her shoes on the rack pretty well these days ! ) buckets of sand in places they shouldn't really be, and sitting down to watch some tv, after the kids are asleep in a room full of toys.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Would I still enjoy this stage if I was in it for the rest of my life, probably not, but right now, I refuse to wish it away.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I am thankful for every painty hand print.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">( not to mention the money to pay the cleaner to wipe them away ! )</span>mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-83843759974556744402013-09-14T00:22:00.001-07:002013-09-22T01:00:28.469-07:00Things<span style="font-size: x-large;">I haven't checked in for a while, lots of things have been whirring around my mind to write about, but as per usual, there isn't quite the time and space to put them on the page.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have been doing a fair bit of reading other blogs, many times recently I've stumbled across a blog post which has put into words exactly what I have been thinking about. It's so often the case, we think we are the only ones mulling over an issue, only to find that actually, we aren't alone, instead across the globe we are all influenced by so many of the same issues and thinkings. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Kind of weird, but great at the same time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I love this lady's writing, I feel like we are on the same page. <a href="http://www.awidemercy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/when-life-doesnt-look-like-pictures.html">awidemercy</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have been wrangling with how much more we need to support each other as parents. Weather we push our babies, or carry them, breast or bottle feed. Seriously, life is hard enough for constant judgement. This article added to my existing thoughts about this. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/01/i-support-you-breastfeeding-_n_3685881.html">huff post</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">My Little tyke is hurtling towards being 'number 3'........ I won't say things like 'where has the time gone'.....'they grow so fast'......but yes, those things ! I am loving spending so much time with her, her personality is emerging beautifully and I love our time together. There are times where I CaNNOT wait for bedtime, to see her eyes and mouth close, silencing the constant stream of 'why' mummy, but I love a 3 year olds zest for life, and have to say, I learn so much from her questions and excitement at the simple things in life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The littlest Deane is getting bigger, and LOUDER. There are teeth, and there is eating. There are still night wakings, but not so many these days. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">He is scrumptious. I have considered eating him on more than one occasion.</span><br />
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<br />mamadeanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01730410682976891644noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1960527325437601338.post-27753126513038122582013-08-27T00:46:00.004-07:002013-08-27T00:46:32.652-07:00Week in pictures<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Week in pictures</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Beachy ones</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Gardeny ones</span><br />
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